The Tron Chronicles
by Tronnit
Summary: Tron, the new keybearer, is now set with a new challenge. To stop Tim Thoughtless, the Super Thoughtless, from universal domination! Last chapter.
1. Passing of the Torch

The Tron Chronicles

Chapter 1: Passing of the Torch

**Author's note: Tron's encounters with The Dark Crusade and Thoughtless were in my fanfic- Kingdom Hearts III: The Dark Crusade. I also don't own Kingdom Hearts. I own the Thoughtless, Sombodies, Henri, Natily, Zertonix, Kraxs and Tronnit. My characters! The Soulless were created by XDarkmasterX. I have permission…honest! **

Tron, the security program, stood in the I/O Tower. He raised his ID disc. The Users back in the User World had finished downloading some new data. Tron took his disc back. He knew what he had to do. It was the same boring routine over and over again. 'Go to the mainframe and punch the data in.' "Big whoop" Tron thought sarcastically. He was tired of a program's life. He longed for something adventurous. Light cycles got boring quickly! He dug into his memory files. He found information on Sora. "Ah, now there were some good times," he sighed. "Fighting Sark and The MCP, what ever happened to those days?"

He dug deeper. Some adventure with a guy named Flynn or something. Traces of his encounters with Thoughtless and Tronnit of The Dark Crusade were there. He smiled when he remembered that Sora saved his life. "Hmm," he pondered. "I wonder how Sora is doing; it's almost been 15034678 micro years since I last saw him."

Sora was reaching his late 50's now. He was happily married to the love of his life, Kairi. He had his own fifteen year old son, Henri. Riku married Selphie after she divorced Tidus; they had a daughter the same age as Henri, her name was Natily. Henri had Sora's face and hair, but he had streaks of Kairi's hair color. He always wore a maroon shirt, jeans and Velcro sneakers. He also wore a black pendant that Natily made him. It was black and had all colors of the rainbow around it. The center had a violet heart. Natily had a soft face, blonde hair and shiny blue eyes. She always wore a white t-shirt and a blue, plaid skirt. Not forgetting Velcro sneakers! They will become important in this story

Sora was napping after he finished the spaghetti Kairi cooked. His fighting days were long over. Heartless, Nobodies and Thoughtless; tough foes when you get back pains. Anyway, he was sitting on his usual napping chair, when something strange happened. There was a bright blast of light. Kairi turned and saw what was going on. The startled Sora from his nap and he woke up disgruntled. The keyblade was in his hand! "Huh?" he wondered what was up. The keyblade was tugging him; it had a life of its own! He was yanked out of his chair and was being dragged across the floor! "Kairi, help!" he screamed out. Kairi walked outside. She saw Henri with Natily. "Henri," she called to him, "help your father."

Henri's head turned as he witnessed his dad being pulled across the beach by a large, metal key. "Should I help him?" He asked Natily. The blonde girl shrugged. "Why not?" she replied. The couple ran after Henri's old man. He seemed to be heading for the secret spot next to the waterfall.

Henri and Natily entered the cave. Sora was there panting heavily. "Wow," he gasped. "That was unexpected." Henri smiled, he looked at the keyblade. "What's that…key?" he asked Sora. Sora looked at his weapon. "This, my boy, is a keyblade. The most feared weapon in the galaxy!" Sora said proudly. "I thought that was the sitar" Natily mentioned. "That's what they want you to think!"

Henri looked at a mysterious wooden door that was ahead of him. "What's with the door?" he asked. "Son….I have no clue!" Sora answered, idiotically. Well, at least he was honest. The keyblade shone. The trio shielded their eyes. A white beam shot out and entered the door. "What's happening?" Natily shrieked. "The keyblade is reacting with this door! I think it's opening it so we can go somewhere!" Sora screamed back. He was right. The weird door opened slowly. They were sucked into it.

"Hummina hummina," Henri yawned as he gained conscience. He looked around. He wasn't in a cave anymore. He was far from it! He was in a computer lab of some kind. "Whoa!" he gushed. It was technology far beyond his understanding. He walked around the lab. He found his dad and Natily. He helped them up. "Boy, what did Kairi put in that spaghetti?" Sora mumbled to himself. "Dad, do you know where we are?" Henri asked. Sora looked around. His face lit up. "Sweet Larxene! We're in the Radiant Garden Tech Lab!"

"Come again?" Natily sounded confused. "This is where my friends live! Squall, Yuffie, Cid and Tifa!" Sora said cheerfully. His smile didn't last long, for he remembered the cruel fate of Aerith and Cloud. "My ears are burning," said an old voice behind them. "Did someone say my name?" Sora turned. It was a friend of his, but somewhat older. Squall Leonhart. "Squall! It's been 35 years!" Sora shouted with delight. "Ah…Sora, how are you doing? Most importantly, how'd you get in my lab?" Squall asked. "Amazing what doors can do!" Sora laughed. Henri looked around. So did Natily. "Never seen stuff like this" he said, picking up a science beaker. Natily nodded. "Don't have this machina back home." The keyblade tugged Sora. "Oh! I almost forgot!" Sora said, surprised. It led him over to Ansem's computer. The keyblade emitted a small beam. The computer started to boot up! "Uh-oh, I see where this is going," said Squall.

"You two best take these" Squall said. He passed Henri a peculiar looking sword. It was a normal looking sword, until you got to the top of the blade. When you got there, the tip stuck out. "What the hell is this?" Henri asked. "This is the Kreaten," Squall explained. "It's quite the weapon!" Henri looked at it with curiosity. "Why do we need this stuff?" Henri asked Squall. "You two have no idea, this place you're going to is filled with Heartless, Nobodies, Thoughtless and other nasty things" Sora said. "Well, having no idea what those are, can I have a weapon?" Natily asked. Squall passed her two leather gloves. "And these are?" Squall took a deep breath. "These are fighting gloves, they also have special magic abilities," Squall explained. "They…belonged to a friend of mine." Natily looked at them. "What happened to her?" Natily asked. "She died due to depression, her boyfriend died while fighting evil" Squall explained sadly. A teardrop fell from Sora's eye. "Poor Cloud" he murmured. "Take care of them well" Squall said, his voice hardening.

"Where are we going?" Henri asked. "To the Space Paranoids, the keyblade strangely wants us to go there" Sora explained. "The Space Paranoids…is that like a sci-fi video game?" Natily asked. "It's another world, inside this computer" Sora said. "Okay then, can we go?" Henri asked. Sora typed some words into the computer's keyboard. A small gun came down and shot Sora, Henri and Natily. Squall waved goodbye.

"Sora? Is that you?" asked a computerized voice. Sora woke up, his clothes changed into the program ones. Henri and Natily examined their own clothes. "Wow…this is new" Henri said. Sora looked up. "Tron?"

"Sora! It's you!" Tron said. He helped Sora up and hugged him. "Umm…Tron…you're hurting me" Sora managed to say. Tron released him from the hug. "What brings you here? Who are the Users behind you?" Tron asked curiously. "Oh, the boy is my son, Henri. The girl is Riku's daughter, Natily" Sora explained. Tron waved. "Welcome to the Space Paranoids" Tron said. "Umm…yeah, hi" Henri replied back. Natily just smiled back. Sora laughed. "Sorry, they're new to worlds." The keyblade suddenly disappeared from Sora's hand. "Huh! Th…the keyblade!" Sora started to panic. Tron's hand started glowing. The keyblade reappeared into his hand, but as the Photon Debugger. "Umm…nice weather we're having?" Tron laughed weakly and sheepishly.

"Tron, can I have the keyblade back?" Sora asked. Tron passed it to him. It vanished and teleported back to Tron's hand. They kept passing it back and forth. "Dad, don't you get it?" Henri asked. "The keyblade doesn't want to be with you!" Sora was flabbergasted (is this even a word?). "But…I've always had the keyblade! Ever since I was 14!" Sora sniveled. "Umm…maybe since you're entering your 60th User year, they keyblade needs a new master" Tron said. Sora looked at his aging hands. "I guess you're right Tron, congrats." Natily walked up. "But how can he fight evil when he's in a computer?" she asked. The keyblade started glowing white. A bright flash filled the I/O Tower.

Tron's eyes battered. "So…this is Tron" said a voice. Tron's eyes shot open. "Where am I?" he asked in distress. Tron looked around. The walls weren't the electronic kind, there were no programs or light cycles. "Welcome to the User world, I'm User Squall." Tron looked at the old man. Henri and Natily started to wake up. "I'm…free from…the ENCOM computer?" Tron asked. Squall stuck his hand out to help Tron up. Tron grabbed it. He was helped to his feet. "I'm finally free from that boring computer!" he cheered. "Now I can have a proper adventure, just like old times, hey Sora?" There was no reply. Tron glanced around the lab. "Dad?" Henri called out. Sora was gone.

"Well, isn't this a shame," said a voice from behind. There was a man in a red, blue, black and white hooded coat. He was holding an unconscious Sora. "I seem to have an ex-keyblade master, what I want is that program," the man's voice sounded innocent, like a child's. "Now give me that keyblade, program; or you will suffer." Tron gripped his new weapon fiercely. "Never!" Tron shouted. The man laughed. "Very well, let's get an enemy variety going here"

"Come to me: Heartless, Nobody, Thoughtless, Somebody and Soulless!" The Man roared. A black creature appeared. Tron immediately struck it. It vanished in black smoke. A white, slippery creature came out. Henri ran up to it with his Kreaten. He jumped and sliced it in two. A zombie, with a black brain exposed, came out of the ground. Natily jumped in front of it. She pummeled it in the face, jumped and did a spinning kick around the head.

A peculiar being came out. It looked human, but had an unnatural smile across its face. It had arms like the Nobody had. "Hi did ya watch the game?" it asked. Tron watched it as it slipped between his legs and kicked him across the room. Henri and Natily doubled-teamed it. Natily grabbed its head and flung it at Henri, who smacked it across the face, instantly decapitating it. "Don't see you smiling now, punk" Henri scoffed.

Finally, a white Heartless thing came up. It had an emblem on its chest. It looked like a soul coming out of a pit. It roared and dashed at Natily. She was head butted in the stomach. "No!" Henri screamed. He lunged at the thing. It freely evaded the attack and clawed Henri's face. It stood triumphant over Henri. Then a disc crashed into its face. It was Tron, who just tossed his ID disc. Natily aimed her gloves at the creature. "Fire!" she yelled. A small burst of flames blasted into the thing. It vanished.

"Good, you may have had some trouble against that Soulless and Somebody, but good" The Man applauded. "Who are you?" Tron asked. The Man smiled under his hood. "I'm Kraxs, ruler of all of your mindless enemies." Tron got mad. "What do you want with my dad?" Henri asked. "Everything," Kraxs said. "His heart, soul, shell and imagination. You'll find out my plan soon enough, but I'll need that keyblade later." Kraxs disappeared. "Now what?" Natily asked. "We're going Kraxs hunting" Tron said, smiling.

**Well, that was a bit long. But please review! There is more to come.**


	2. The Graveyard

Chapter 2: The Graveyard

**Author's Note: I forgot to tell you this, I don't own Final Fantasy….for the time being he-he :) Anyway I need ideas for a Disney world or FF world (don't include the ones in the game or Robin Hood, Lilo & Stitch or Balamb Garden) PM me or add them in your reviews. Cheers!**

"Yeah…sorry to break it to ya Tron, but that Kraxs dude could be halfway across the galaxy" Natily said.

Tron thought for a moment. "Hmm, it is illogical that we simply catch him, but we could ask other worlds if they know where he resides."

"What makes you sure he 'resides'?" Natily asked. "User Natily, every villain 'resides'."

"Hate to interrupt your happy place," Henri butted in, "but we can't get anywhere, we have no transportation!"

Squall spoke up. "We do have the Highwind α."

"Dothewhat dothewhat dothewhatwhatwhat?" Henri asked, confused. Squall pressed a red button on the keyboard. A huge, grey, flying ship flew next to the window. Henri, Natily and Tron looked at it with astonishment. "Man," Natily said, "Destiny Islands are waaay behind the technology curve!"

So everyone boarded and waved farewell to Squall. Tron, being the expert at computers and whatnot, flew out of The Radiant Garden's atmosphere. "Hmm…" Tron said, "User Cid always talked about outer space." Henri looked at him, confused.

"Who's Cid?"

"A friend of mine, he was the only one who could use the computer"

"Where is he now?"

"I don't know, probably since it's been eons since I've seen him, he must be in his summer home in Hawaii."

They flew around outer space for a while. Tron, who was piloting, wasn't quite sure where the heck he was going. Probably just looking for a nearby world and then to question the natives about Kraxs. And that is the basic plot line!

"Land ho!" Henri screamed into Tron's ear. "I'm right next to you!" But it was true. There, ahead of them, was a desert like world. There seemed to be a grey diamond in the center. There was a small city. "I wonder if they know anything about Kraxs" Natily said, staring at the barren planet with her arms crossed. "I hope they have my daddy" Henri sighed. Natily turned and gave Henri an odd look. "WHAT?" Henri looked around uneasily. "Tron, you best land!"

Tron landed the Highwind Alpha. He opened up the ship's door. Tron got up and started to head to the door…."Wait a minute program boy," Natily said, grabbing his arm.

"What now?" Tron groaned.

"Have you seen what you're wearing?"

Tron looked at his blue, electronic…jumpsuit…type…thing. "My normal clothing?"

"Yeah…you see, people will see that and think you're from a sci-fi movie. You need a new wardrobe."

Henri sighed and slapped his head. "Why didn't I see this coming?"

Natily pushed Tron into the convenient Highwind closet. Natily waited outside.

"Have you picked an outfit yet?" she cried out.

"I think so" Tron replied.

Tron came out of the closet (not that way!) in his new wardrobe! Henri gave out a lengthy whistle. Tron was looking at his new clothes. It was a red t-shirt, blue pants, white sneakers, and a Zanarkand Abes blitzball cap. "Umm…am I…as you Users say 'hip?'" Natily stared questionably at him. "Something is missing" she mumbled. She searched through the clothes. She pulled out a leather jacket. "Try this on." Tron did so. He looked a lot cooler. "Can we go now?" Henri screamed out. Tron rushed to the door.

Tron didn't think much of this world. Nothing but clumpy, dirty, sandy earth. Sand dunes and loess as far as the eye could see. "I wouldn't think that Kraxs would be here" Henri sighed. Natily looked at him doubtfully. Tron ignored the teenagers' moans and climbed up a cliff. He peered over the edge and looked at what was in front of him. "What in the name of ENCOM…."

Keyblades. Masses upon masses of Keyblades were sorted into neat large rows. Henri and Natily climbed up the cliff and joined Tron. They were similarly shocked. "Keyblades? But I thought there was only one keyblade?" Henri said, quite gobsmacked. "So did I…how in the system…" Tron trailed off from his sentence. "Should we see this thing?" Natily asked her friends. Tron and Henri jumped down the cliff and slid down. Natily rolled her eyes.

The keyblade rows were a lot larger than anyone thought. Tron recognized some of the keyblades. Guardian Soul, Crab claw, Follow the Wind, Ultima Weapon, Pumpkin head, Fairy Harp and many more. There were even some Tron didn't recognize. The keyblades were all stuck in the ground. In the shadow of each keyblade was a plaque. It stated the Keybearer that used the keyblade. "It's a graveyard" Tron said, frightened. He glanced around uneasily. Henri noticed something in the center of the graveyard. There were four plaques. On had the Kingdom Key symbol, one had a Heartless symbol, another had the Oathkeeper, the last had the Photon Debugger's. "Tron!"

Tron looked down at the plaque. His mouth was quivering. His eyes opened as far as they could. He reached out to touch it. BLAM! A bullet just missed Tron. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE MCP!" Tron screamed as he leapt back in fear. Tron, Henri and Natily looked in the direction of the shot. A young man was holding a rifle. He blew out the smoke traveling from the barrel. "Y'all best keep away from that."

The man was dressed in a western sheriff theme. Trench coat and cowboy hat and even snake hide boots. His long brownish/reddish hair blew in the wind. "I said you best keep away from there!" The others still didn't move an inch. Was it the gun that struck them in fear? Or was it the creeping figures behind him. The man looked behind him, aware of the other's staring. "Boy, that is a pretty large Somebody!"

"Did 'YOU' watch the game last night?" the Somebody asked, pointing a fat finger at the cowboy (they always ask people that, they think it's all humans do.). "No, but did you see this?" The cowboy fired another shot at the Somebody's face. It was blasted back a couple of feet. "That's a no-no!" the Somebody said. Its creepy smile spread across its face. It summoned a Berserker hammer. "Aw shoot! Himserkers!" the cowboy moaned. He jumped of the cliff and landed next to Tron, Henri and Natily. "Hey, you guys know how to fight?" the man asked. "We're the best ever!" Henri gloated. "Great, I'm Irvine Kinneas" the man said cheerfully. Tron summoned his keyblade. Irvine looked at it, open mouthed. "A keyblade?" Irvine yelled.

"What's a Somebody?" Natily asked. "It's a Nobody that is trying too hard to become human, so it changes its appearance to look human but still has some traits of a Nobody, hence the Berserker hammer and Berserker body. They also try to behave like humans, but they aren't very good at it," Irvine explained. "Now let's take this here thing down!"


	3. Wind Limit

**Disclaimer: I don't own any members of the Dark Crusade except Tronnit. I own Somebodies, Thoughtless and these new guys which will be popping up soon, The Heartfulls! I don't own Disney or any Square Enix thingymabobs. So don't steal my things, savvy? Also, I like chicken pie.**

Chapter 3: Wind Limit

Kairi looked across the beach, into the vast sea. Riku and Selphie soon came up to see her. Selphie was in tears. Riku also had a sad look on his face. "Have they…come back yet?" Selphie sniveled. Kairi shook her head sadly. "Where could they've gone?" Riku sighed. Kairi's face burst into tears. She grabbed Riku's hand. "I just pray to Yevon that they are safe"

Tron ran to the Himserker with all his speed. The Himserker looked at the oncoming Keyblader. "Wanna grab a beer at the bar buddy?" it asked, its creepy smile stretched across its white face. "No, but do you want some of this?" Tron jumped and kicked the abomination in the face. He twisted in the air and swung the keyblade with full force. The Himserker was knocked flying! Henri ran along a cliff. The Himserker was right under him. Henri jumped and landed on the Himserker's head. He stuck his Kreaten into it and ran along, dragging his sword along the Somebody's body. Natily ran to the Himserker and performed an uppercut on its head. "Blizzard!" she cast a flurry of icicles. They pummeled themselves into the Himserker's face.

"That ain't right homey!" The Himserker screamed. Someone behind the Himserker gave out an attention grabbing cough. The Himserker looked behind. Irvine Kinneas, the sharpshooter, was pointing his rifle at the Somebody's face. "Did you watch the…" BANG! Irvine fired his rifle. The bullet blasted into the 15ft Somebody's head. "Steelers…rule…" the Himserker coughed. It died out in gray and white flames. "Dammit, I hate it when they say that."

Irvine laughed his head off. Tron gave hi-fives to Henri and Natily. Irvine smiled proudly. Then he remembered a certain somebody's keyblade. "Hey biker boy, how'd you get a keyblade?" Irvine asked curtly. Tron looked at the Photon Debugger. "My friend Sora used to own it, but because he's so old the keyblade was passed to me." Irvine's face seemed shocked all of a sudden. "You knew Sora?" he screamed.

"He's my friend" Tron replied

"He's my dad" Henri added

"He's my godfather…and my dad's best friend" Natily said.

"But he's a legend!" Irvine yelled. "He's saved the world like…" Irvine started counting his fingers. "Three times! How can three nobodies like you know him!" All three protagonists looked at Irvine with faces of disgust. "We ain't nobodies!" Henri shouted. Irvine looked at Tron, "outsider," Irvine muttered. He looked at Henri, "immature." Henri went livid. "I'M NOT IMMATURE!" Irvine looked up and down at Natily. He seemed to take his time. Natily looked at Irvine angrily. "Are you quite done yet?" Irvine looked at Natily. "Baby, I could look at you all day." Natily socked Irvine in the eye. "Loser" she grumbled. Henri went up and kicked Irvine in the stomach.

"So, anyway Irvine, when you're done writhing in pain," Tron said, "do you know if some guy called Kraxs is here?" Irvine got up and dusted off his jacket. "That guy in the multicolored cloak? He's at that building over there," Irvine pointed at a nearby building. "I'd go see him but the building is surrounded by Heartless, Soulless, and Thoughtless." Tron groaned. "Irvine, he had Sora!" Irvine's eyes opened wider than ever. "Oh, that's what was in that bag."

"Great, the bad guy has my dad in a bag" Henri sighed. "I wonder what he wants with Sora" Natily wondered out loud. Tron thought for a moment. "He mentioned back at the lab that he wanted his heart, imagination, shell and soul. But why would he come here to do the operation?" Irvine looked up. "Keyblades." Everyone looked at him questionably. "Sora used to wield that keyblade. But given another one, he can use that. Kraxs must want Sora's spiritual things to use keyblades. A Sora Heartless, Somebody, Thoughtless and Soulless; since Sora's Nobody could hold keyblades; those monsters should be able to too! And we're surrounded by keyblades!"

The Thoughtless climbed aimlessly around the room. Kraxs looked at them from under his cloak. He looked at them and the Somebodies and Heartless as useless. The only thing they do is go around mindlessly and steal something for sustenance. Except the Somebodies, they go around asking if you've seen the latest blitzball game. Idiotic beings, which they are. Kraxs looked at the unconscious Sora. "No-one can help you now," he laughed. "Look at you, you once defeated me and my master once but the tables have turned. Neither that program nor those bumbling children can save you!" Kraxs looked around. "I'm talking to myself again." A Thoughtless nodded its head.

The last Soulless outside the building reached out, hoping to escape its killers' wrath. Henri's sword slammed itself into the Soulless head. It died. "That's the last of 'em Irvine!" he shouted. Irvine gave the thumbs up to him. He then continued to work on the explosives to destroy the door. Henri sat down next to Natily. They stared at the keyblade grave yard. "Do you think Sora is alright?" she asked him. Henri made a crumbled face. "I hope so; I just hope nothing bad happens to him…or my mom."

Kairi was still waiting for her family's return. Riku and Selphie waited with her. They all sighed deeply. "Aw, is someone upset?" asked a familiar voice from behind them. Riku's eyes shot open. Kairi's too. They both turned around sharply and summoned the Way to the Dawn and Oathkeeper. There was an old foe. Tronnit, in all his fallen angel glory. "Top of the morning to ye" he laughed in a terrible Irish accent. "Tronnit! We thought you and the DC were dead!" Kairi yelled. "Yep, we were," Tronnit looked at the sky with his hands on his hips. He kicked the dust with his messy sneakers. He then looked at Riku, Kairi and Selphie, his glasses reflected the sunlight. "Good thing you idiots forgot to kill Joker, or he couldn't have resurrected us." Tronnit drew his lances.

"Selphie get back!" Riku ordered. Selphie walked backwards, scared. Riku wasn't afraid to fight. Despite his old age, he made sure he was in good fighting shape just in case of Heartless, Nobodies etc. Tronnit smiled, Kairi could tell that this wasn't going to be easy. "I'm gonna make this quick, DM and Kraxs need you guys post haste. Hmm…Kraxs should be done with Sora right now." Kairi gasped. "Sora! Who's Kraxs? Where's Sora?" Tronnit paused. "If I recall, he had to give his Keyblade to Tron…got captured by Kraxs and now is waiting to be rescued by Tron, Henri and Natily." Kairi screamed in frustration and charged at Tronnit.

Tronnit quickly drew a circle around him with his lances. He kept them down by his side. Riku joined Kairi in the charge. Tronnit raised his lances just as Kairi and Riku came near. A huge tornado came from the circle; it grabbed Kairi and Riku and spun them around. Tronnit put away his lances and jumped up. "Lets bring the pain baby!" Tronnit rapidly fired mini whirlwinds out of his hands. Kairi and Riku got cut by the wind and fell to the ground. Selphie stood helplessly as she witnessed her husband being hurt. Tronnit put his lances' handles together. "Y'know, I don't want to do this…who am I kidding, of course I do!"

Kairi looked up. She had cuts and bruises all over. "I hate you!" she managed to mutter to Tronnit. "I know you do baby cakes." His double-ended lance was spinning around like a buzz saw. He struck Riku and Kairi then blasted them with another mini whirlwind. He stuck his lance into the ground. "Estro te ervant o igh ad te reato!" he chanted. His lance's end that wasn't in the ground started glowing green. Air blew around it. A dragon composed of wind came forth from the lance. It roared furiously. It dived into Kairi and Riku and gave them fresh, new, bleeding cuts. The two Keybladers couldn't go on. They passed out.

Tronnit picked up the two bodies and dumped them into a shadow portal. Selphie was on her knees sobbing her eyes out. Tronnit stared at her pitifully. "Don't fret; here…allow me to take your worries away." Selphie looked up. Tronnit rammed a lance into her stomach. He got right up to her face. "Exterminate" he whispered. He wrenched the lance and Selphie sputtered blood. It trickled down her mouth. "Sorry dear," he said. "May the Creator take care of you," he stuck the lance in further. "'Good' care!" He withdrew the bloody lance and stepped through a dark portal. Leaving Selphie to die.

"FULL LIFE!" Beams of magical energy entered Selphie. They healed her wounds and cleaned her up. Selphie came to. "Huh?" She noticed a young teenager ran up to her. "Are you ok?" Selphie looked at the boy. He had long blond hair that covered his eyes and most of his ears. He wore a black hooded jacket, red jeans, shoes that had zero written on them. He also had a massive buster sword, on the blade was the Nobody symbol. "I'm Zertonix; can you tell me where Tronnit went?" Selphie shook her head. "He disappeared in shadows." Zertonix kicked the ground and cursed. He held up his hefty sword and spun it around. A shadow portal appeared and Zertonix stepped inside. The portal closed up. Selphie lay on the ground, worried about the others.

"Kraxs! Release my friend immediately!" Tron ordered. Kraxs turned around and made a cold smile. "You people arrived just in time, I'm about to extract everything from your father; unless you hand over that keyblade!"

Tron looked at his keyblade. He then looked at Henri, Natily and Irvine. They all shook their heads. "No! Sora gave me this keyblade not to be used for evil! I won't let you take this, or Sora's spiritual belongings!" Tron jumped at Kraxs and swung the keyblade repeatedly. Kraxs hovered backwards and cast a Thunder spell. Tron swiftly grabbed his ID disk and used it to absorb the electricity. Kraxs snapped his fingers, several Thoughtless appeared. "Thoughtless! Don't let them steal your imagination!" Tronnit shouted. Henri sliced any zombie related being that came near then. Natily jumped and punched, kicked and cast spells to stop the Thoughtless. Kraxs laughed manically.

Tron made a stern face. "What are you laughing about?"

Kraxs reached for something behind his back. "This!" A red ID disc was thrown at Tron. It connected sharply with Tron's jaw. Kraxs then teleported away after saying "data transfer." "What in the hell?" Henri yelled, scared. The room was silent, the Thoughtless were dead, Tron was unconscious, and so was Sora. "Data transfer complete!" Kraxs suddenly reappeared. Henri stepped back in fear, only to be kicked in the face. Natily ran and tried to punch Kraxs; he grabbed her fist and threw her away. "Leave her alone!" Irvine shouted. He aimed his rifle but Kraxs cast another Thunder spell. Irvine was immediately electrocuted. He gave out several agonizing screams. Kraxs looked at Natily and Henri. "Perhaps you'd like to share his pain; after all, misery loves company!" Bolts of lightning surged into Henri and Natily's body. Tron heard some screams, but all he saw was darkness.

"T…r…o…n! H…e…l…p!"

Tron woke up gasping for air. He looked around. Kraxs was electrocuting his friends. Tron jumped to his feet and ran to his friends' aide. Kraxs looked at the incoming Tron. Tron pulled out the keyblade and jumped for Kraxs. He grabbed Kraxs, punched him in the face, spun him around and threw him at the ceiling. Irvine, Henri and Natily dropped to the floor. "Tron!" Henri screamed. Henri threw his sword to Tron, who grabbed it and sliced Kraxs with both the keyblade and Kreaten. Kraxs fell down in extreme pain. Kraxs looked up. Tron had his keyblade at his throat. "Who are you!" Tron demanded to know. "An old friend of yours" Kraxs laughed at as he removed his hood. Tron gasped. "Sark?" Kraxs, or 'Sark', smiled. "Data transfer." Sark teleported away.

"Who's Sark?" Henri asked. "An enemy of mine, Sora and I thought we defeated him along with the MCP. But he disappeared after the fight" Tron replied. "Well, at least Sora is ok, but he's still unconscious" Natily sighed. Sora was still slumped in the corner. "Well, I think we should take him home" Tron said. Irvine approached them. "On behalf of this place with no name, I thank you all." Irvine shook everyone's hand. "Y'all come back soon y'all hear!"

On the way back to the Destiny Islands, Sora woke up. Tron explained everything to him. He couldn't believe their tale, he felt pretty embarrassed. They arrived on the golden beaches and pure seas of the Destiny Islands. "Mom! We're home!" Henri shouted. "Mom? Dad?" Natily shouted as well. "Natily?" cried a voice. It was Selphie. She hugged Natily and refused to let go. Natily noticed blood stains on her mom's dress. "Mom…what happened?"

"Yo DM, I've got those Keybladers" Tronnit said. DM grabbed the hostages, Riku and Kairi. "Groovy! Now we can do the same of what Kraxs did" DM laughed. DM, short for Darkmaster, was a wolf-like demon who ruled the Dark Crusade, the Soulless and the Thoughtless (they obey anyone if imaginations are supplied, but you already new that, right?). Kraxs, or Sark, appeared. "Sark-with-an-x-and-make-an-anagram, do you have the spirit thingies of Sora?" DM asked. Sark made a sheepish face. "No, his friend Tron and three brats saved him." DM's eye twitched. "You mean, I gave you power to control Soulless and you fail!" Sark shrugged. DM pointed a finger at Sark. A dark beam of energy disintegrated Sark. "We'll take things into our own hands."


	4. Andy's Room

**Author's note: Tim likes to swear. So I blanked it out. Someone think of the children! Bill Nigh the Science Guy sold his soul to Disney just like Zack and Cody, Hananah Montanna and Raven. So I can't own them**

Chapter 4: Andy's Room 

"Some English fallen angel stole my mom?" Henri screamed. "Some dude with wings kidnapped my dad and tried to kill my mom?" Natily screamed. Henri screamed in frustration and kicked a wall. Natily fell to her knees and sobbed. Tron closed his eyes and made a sad look. "Y'know, we could just go and find them" he said. Henri and Natily glared at him. Tron raised his hands to show he was backing off. "Actually," Selphie spoke up. "He's got a point." Tron smiled smugly, "told you it was logical."

Reluctantly, Henri and Natily agreed to Tron's plan to search the cosmos for Riku and Kairi (this story sounds familiar doesn't it?). They boarded the Highwind α and took off. Selphie waved goodbye till the ship was out of sight.

"Ok now, we have to search every planet in the galaxy to find my mom and Natily's dad, right?" Henri asked. Tron nodded. "You do know how many planets there are in the galaxy?" Natily asked. Tron shook his head. "I've been living in a computer for 9182376455 micro years, of course I don't know."

"You could've accessed the internet" Henri said.

"The what?"

Darkmaster summoned the rest of The Dark Crusade: Echie, Shades, Flamer, Potatokiller, and Darkfire. Tronnit looked around. "Didn't we have Sephiroth last time?" Tronnit asked. "That guy is so old," DM scoffed, "he's probably the antagonist of the seventh release of a RPG series!" There was an awkward silence. "Moving on, Tronnit here will give you the details." Tronnit stood in front of everyone.

"Ladies and jelly spoons, hobos and tramps, cross-eyed mosquitoes and bow-legged ants. I come before you, to talk behind you. On Tuesday, which is Good Friday; there is a meeting for men only, but women may attend."

"Ok, we will tell you are latest plan then" DM said. Flamer, who was behind the others, raised his hand. Tronnit looked at him. "Yes, pratt at the back!"

"Umm…why is it always with evil plans? Why can't we, y'know, bake cookies?"

Tronnit and DM looked at him. So did the other members. Flamer shrugged and smiled weakly. DM blasted him with a dark beam. He then resurrected immediately. "Any more suggestions?"

"Nope" Echie said.

"I like evil" Potatokiller said.

"Cookies are nice" Darkfire said.

"I like to kill Tronnit in Halo" laughed Shades.

Space…the final frontier…was pretty boring when your ship lacked a TV; that was what Henri said anyway. "Well look on the bright side," Tron said. "At least you get to see the universe." Henri glared at the program. "Yes, but the universe doesn't get me cable!" Natily looked through the windscreen. There was a small house floating in the middle of nowhere.

"Wow," Tron gasped. "I don't think they're in Kansas anymore."

"Tron," Henri said. "What the hell are you talking about?"

The trio landed on the yard of the house. The Highwind Alpha was almost as big as the house. "What kinda world is this?" Tron asked. Natily surveyed the area. "One with a nice estate."

The house was big and white. It had a red door and a garage next to the house. A Gummi ship was parked in front of the house. Tron went up to the door and rang the door bell. "Maybe this is where Kraxs 'resides'" he said, doing the quote-unquote action. They waited outside the door, waiting for someone to open it. There was no answer. Tron rang the door bell again. Still…nothing. Tron reached for the doorknob, the door was unlocked. Tron opened the door. "Hello is any…" his sentence was cut short. A blast of multicolored light blasted into Tron, Henri and Natily. Tron felt very strange, as if he was….

"Ok gents," Echie announced. "We shall send some lucky S.O.A.B to capture Tron on the world known as….The Room?" Darkfire raised his hand. Echie pointed, indicating that he could speak. "For this daring mission I nominate…Flamer!" Flamer looked at Darkfire shocked.

"NO WAY! I GOT KILLED FIRST IN THE LAST STORY. NO CHANCE IN HELL AM I GONNA GET MY ASS KICKED BY A CHICK AGAIN!" Potatokiller looked at him. "That's right! You got your butt handed to you by Kairi!"

"SHUT UP!"

"She beat you like a bad monkey!"

Echie interrupted the argument. "Ok, Flamer you're going to that room place." Echie snapped his fingers and Flamer disappeared. "Now that he's gone we can finally read his diary!"

"I'll get the grape juice!" Potatokiller screamed.

Tron woke up slowly. He glanced around the area. He was at the doorstep still. He picked himself up off the floor, but he noticed his joints were stiff. He looked at his joints but noticed something written on his arm. 'Made in The Land of Dragons.' Tron also noticed that everything seemed a whole lot bigger. "This can't be right" he thought. Henri and Natily got up too. Tron looked at them. Henri was strangely dressed in combat fatigues and had an army style hair cut. Natily was dressed in a pink dress and had her hair loose instead of her usual pony tail. Tron looked at himself. He somewhat resembled a fully poseable tin robot. "Impossible!" he thought. "I'm a toy!"

"Hey Tron, do I look like Action Man or Max Steel?" Henri asked, looking at his clothes. Natily looked at her new dress. "Come on! This doesn't match my personality! I'm tomboyish!" she cried. "Ok, I know we're in a pickle here," Tron shouted. "We should calmly leave this place. That way, we should turn back to normal; it worked in The Pride Lands for Sora!"

"Hey! I must've left you toys outside!" bellowed a large voice. Everyone looked over their shoulder. There was a gigantic human boy. It grabbed Tron, Henri and Natily. Tron tried to squirm free! But the grip was far too tight! The boy brought the trio into the house, up a flight of stairs and into his room. He placed them on his bed. "There you guys go. Mom, I'm going to the park! I'll be back by 5!" The mom replied with an ok. The boy left the room.

Tron repeatedly gasped for air. "That user held me too tight!" Henri rubbed his back, hoping to ease the pain. "Damn that kid!" Natily looked around the room. It was your typical 10-year old bedroom. Toys dispelled everywhere, unread books collecting dust on the shelves, and homework on the desk. "Hard to believe this is a world" she muttered.

"HOWDY!" someone screamed. Everyone leapt back from the surprise. There was a toy cowboy with a pull string in front of them, as well as an astronaut with pretty colored buttons. "Greetings," the astronaut said. "I am Buzz Lightyear; you must be new from the store." Tron and the others looked at him bug-eyed. "Come again?"

The cowboy introduced himself as Woody. "Hmm…you don't look like you're from Al's Toy Barn," Woody said, eyeing each of them. "Where are you cowpokes from?" Henri and Natily hesitated about their answer. "We're from ENCOM!" Tron shouted suddenly. Buzz and Woody looked at them questionably. "ENCOM? Never heard of that Toy Company, but works for us!" Buzz laughed "C'mon, let's show you the gang!" The five climbed off the bed and then went underneath it. The trio was soon introduced to Mr. and Mrs. Potato head, Rex, Slinky Dog, Bo Peep, Ham and the Army Men.

Flamer woke up on a large shelf. He noticed he was in the form of a Dragon ball Z action figure. "Sweet! I'm plastic!" he giggled with glee. "I wonder if I can still conjure fire." Flamer flexed his fingers. He pointed at an alphabet block. Pyroclastic blasts surged out of his fingers and burnt the block to a crisp. "Excellent!" Flamer did an air guitar and made the electric guitar noises.

"Hey! You wheeze can't do that!" said a voice. Flamer looked behind his shoulder. It was a small, plastic penguin with a red bowtie waddled to Flamer. "Aw, a cute 'n' cuddly penguin!" Flamer ran and hugged the penguin. The penguin looked at the 'minion of evil and master of fire.' "Can you wheeze get off me?" the penguin asked, a bit freaked out (you would to if a grown man was hugging you!). Flamer let go and backed off. The penguin dusted off its flippers.

"As I was wheeze saying; you can't just burn Andy's things here!" Flamer looked at the wheezing penguin crossly. "You mean penguin! Me melt you like me burn monkey" Flamer said in a babyish voice. He aimed his hands of fire at the penguin. The penguin screamed and wheezed as it waddled off the edge of the shelf. "Bye Mr. Penguin!"

DM approached his allies: Echie, Tronnit and Potatokiller. "Ok guys, aside to taking the thingies of the Kairi and Riku, I have a plan." Echie looked at him contently. "What's that then?" he asked. DM rubbed his hands and grinned uncontrollably. "Oh yeah, you guys are going to love it! I've hired a genius to create a Super Thoughtless!"

Tronnit looked at DM. "Is that possible? I mean, they're idiots!" DM frowned. "That is why I hired 'a genius!'" Potatokiller spoke up. "Who's the genius. "Bill Nigh the Science Guy" DM replied. An adult in a lab coat appeared through a door. A funky but crap theme tune kicked in. "Science rules!" Bill said. Tronnit started to nod his head in time with the beat. "Nice theme tune, is it on Disney Mania?" Tronnit asked. Bill Nigh span on the spot and pointed at Tronnit. "No!" Potatokiller slapped his hand on his head. "Just make that Thoughtless!"

Tron and the others turned their attentions to a small screaming object falling off a shelf. Woody squinted to see what it was. "Wheezy?" he said. Tron looked at him. "Who's Wheezy?" he asked. "A friend of ours," Buzz replied. "He's a penguin that lost his squeaker." Wheezy landed with a squeak on the ground. Tron noticed Flamer popping his head over the shelf and waved to them. Tron stared at him and recognized Flamer's identity immediately.

"Hey, you're Flamer from The Dark Crusade! I thought you guys were dead!" Flamer laughed. "Yeah," he chuckled. "As dead as Organization XIII!" Tron stared at him, and then he remembered his mission about Kraxs. "Are you guys in league with Kraxs?" Tron asked, his voice hardening. Flamer giggled. "We were but he's dead! Darkmaster vaporized him for failure of taking the things of Sora!" Flamer continued his guffaws. Henri and Natily stood in. "Come on down so we can kick you back to The Underworld!" Henri shouted. "I bet you can't hold a sword!" Natily shouted to Flamer. Flamer was now mad.

He jumped off the shelf. He kicked Wheezy to the side. Several Thoughtless appeared. Buzz Lightyear stepped in front of Tron, Henri and Natily. "Let me handle these zombie action figures. I need the practice." A Thoughtless approached him. Buzz shined his laser at the Thoughtless. Nothing happened. The Thoughtless looked behind and looked at his friends. The other Thoughtless shrugged. "Umm….Woody, some assistance" Buzz said. Woody whipped out his pull string and wrapped it around the nearest Thoughtless' neck. The Thoughtless was instantly strangled. The other Thoughtless ran to them. Buzz pressed his red circle button. His wings popped out and smashed into the Thoughtless.

Flamer clapped his hands. "My turn now punks, Red Carnage!" A huge, spiked, red buster sword came to hand. He pointed it at his foes. "I'll finish what we once started!"

Bill Nigh stepped out of his laboratory. "My employers, I've done it!" Bill screamed out into the empty room. DM, Echie and Tronnit appeared. "Lets see the Super Thoughtless" Tronnit sighed. A teenage looking human Thoughtless appeared. There was silence. "That's it?" DM asked. Bill nodded proudly. "It looks like a normal Thoughtless!" Echie said.

"Who are you calling normal, dragon head?" the Thoughtless snapped curtly. "Ooh! This guy's got spunk!" Tronnit chuckled. "I call him Tim Thoughtless. He's far superior to any Thoughtless" Bill announced. "FTM!" Tim roared. "What does that mean?" DM asked. Bill whispered something into DM's ear. "F--- The Man?" DM repeated.


	5. Eye for an Eye, Life for a Life

Chapter 5: Eye for an Eye, Life for a Life

Zertonix sat on a cliff, watching the city below him. "This world is dying" he thought to himself. Bursts of mako energy spewed from giant machines of some kind. He didn't really care about this world. He just heard rumors about some guy named Shades in this world. Shades, a high ranking member of The Dark Crusade, was here. He could lead Zertonix to his captured parents. A little aggressive negotiation can do wonders.

Flamer stood ready to fight Tron, Henri, Natily and Buzz Lightyear. Woody was being a coward and hid under the bed with the other toys. Flamer's hair dripped with nervous sweat. He got beaten badly by Kairi before; he won't let it happen with her son! "I've got a question for you guys" Flamer said. "Do you know that as I speak, an invincible Thoughtless has been created?"

Tron and the others gasped. "A Super Thoughtless? That can't be good," Natily sighed. "And neither is this dress!" Flamer chuckled. He then charged with his sword at his foes at full speed. He jumped and fired Firaga at Henri.

"Reflega!" Natily screamed. A protective barrier surrounded the four. Magic beams then shot back at Flamer, who was then blasted down.

"Damn you assholes!" Flamer cursed. Flamer set up a wall of fire around Natily. "I'm making sure I'm not getting thrashed by a girl!" Henri clenched his teeth.

"No one treats my girlfriend like that!" Henri leapt up and swung his Kreaten at Flamer. Flamer blocked instantly and countered with a grapple and punch. Tron raced after Flamer and threw his identity disc and thrusted his keyblade. Flamer managed to grab the ID disc but failed to block the keyblade. A neat cut formed across Flamer's face. It dripped red water…blood.

Flamer covered his cut and glared at Tron. Buzz and Henri stood back.

"Hmm," Flamer snorted. "I may need backup." Flamer raised himself in the air. Light shined around his. It was so unbearable that Tron and the others had to cover their eyes. The light ended. Flamer smiled, but not alone. A man, equal age to Flamer, was next to him. His attire consisted of a black trench coat, black shoes, black jeans and black everything. His hair was the same color of his clothing. His eyes had the cruel look that all villains have.

"Say hello to Chaos" Flamer laughed. Tron heard Chaos mumble "Black Death." A 9ft masamune was summoned into his hand. "Flamer," Chaos said. "Have you gotten so pathetic that you had to call me?"

DM stared at Tim. Tim's empty eyes glared at DM's. "So…Tim, What do you do for fun?" DM asked.

"Shouting FTM and making sandwiches" Tim replied. DM made a puzzled look.

"What about destroying humanity?" DM asked, hoping that Tim the Super Thoughtless would enjoy that.

"Nope…FTM!"

"BILL! GET HERE NOW!" DM roared. Bill Nigh the Science Guy appeared with his funky (but crap) theme tune playing.

"What is it my liege?" Bill awaited his employer's answer. He was somewhat nervous, what if DM didn't like Tim Thoughtless? Would he mount his head on the wall?

"Do you know why I called you?" DM asked.

"N…n...n...n...no sir" Bill stammered.

"It's because that Thoughtless isn't that super. In fact he's useless!"

Tim looked insulted. "Hey f-----, are you an agent of 'The Man?'"

DM stifled a frustrated scream. "I gonna kill you! Soulless attack that useless hippie Thoughtless!"

"FTM dude!" Tim screamed back.

Several Soulless appeared and danced over to Tim. Since Soulless are extreme racists to any other 'enemy' group, they'd gladly kill Thoughtless (which are brain dead literally anyway). They swiped their claws at Tim, who was fixing up a sandwich (what kind you decide). Tim didn't feel anything and continued to make his sandwich. The Soulless looked at each other and all shrugged. They called over a huge Soulless. It walked (actually it was more of a waddle than a walk) over and primed its fist to maim the back of Tim's head. It threw the punch at Tim. Tim still didn't feel anything. The huge Soulless did though; its hand bones were broken.

"Was there a fly on me?" Tim asked the Soulless. The Soulless just ran away in fear. DM then looked at Bill Nigh the Science Guy.

"My God man! You're a genius!" DM applauded. "Not only can he speak, but he's practically indestructible!" DM then laughed his head off. Bill started to laugh weakly with him. Tronnit entered the room while eating a BLT sandwich.

"What'd I miss?" He asked. "Oh by the way Tim, you're sandwiches rock!" Tim raised his hand with the thumbs-up. "So, what's up?"

"We shall rise again!" DM laughed manically, but then his voice softened. "But I can't help feel we're being side tracked." DM pondered. "Oh damn! Riku and Kairi! I forgot about them! Are they still alive?" DM went into panic.

"Relax," Echie said, entering the living room. "Potatokiller and I have been feeding them escargot and dirt cups." Tronnit and DM looked at Echie.

"Snails, I can understand, but dirt cups? That ain't that bad" Tronnit said. Echie stared at Tronnit with a weird smile. Tronnit's face crumpled.

"No…and the gummy worm is a….oh god you're sick!" Tronnit ran for a bathroom. Tim shrugged.

"What's the big deal, I eat those dirt cups like no tomorrow," he paused and looked at Echie. "Oh! You are such an ass!"

Flamer and Chaos stood side by side. Chaos' dark eyes glared at Henri and Buzz. "You can take program, I'll finish the child and toy" Chaos said coldly.

"What about the girl?" Flamer asked. Chaos smiled at his simpleton counterpart.

"We'll finish her later" Chaos gave a quick wink at Natily and Flamer. Henri heard Chaos' plan.

"No! We won't let you carry that plan out!" Henri yelled as he dashed at Chaos. Chaos unsheathed his sword and jumped into the fray. Buzz didn't hold back; his laser might be useless, but he still had his wings and fists to cause damage. Chaos clashed swords with Henri. The swords locked tight and Henri knew one false move could wind up in death. Buzz ran to Chaos, who just caught Buzz's movements. Chaos kneed Henri in the crotch and kicked Henri's skull. Chaos swiped Buzz with his lengthy sword. Buzz decided to go defensive. He shined his laser into Chaos' eyes. He was immediately blinded. Buzz used his karate chop action on Chaos' shoulder blade.

Henri picked himself up and looked around. Tron was doing fine against Flamer. Henri noticed Chaos was temporally blinded. He tossed his Kreaten at the evil entity. It made a huge cut across Chaos' face.

"Buzz," Henri shouted. "Do you mind teaming up?"

"Of course not, my friend."

Henri stood next to the spaceman. He tossed Buzz up in the air. Buzz grabbed a 'The Big One' from the nearby shelf. He lit the fuse and strapped it across his back. Henri jumped up and stood on the firework. The two were launched at Chaos, who was blasted back due to the explosion. Buzz grabbed Henri, spun him around and threw him at the stunned Chaos. Once near enough, Henri instantly sliced Chaos in half. Chaos' carcass disappeared in blue flames.

"Chaos!" Flamer cried, blocking Tron's attack. He watched helplessly as his friend died out in the flames of death. Many emotions built up inside him. Anger, grief, despair; his mind twisted malevolently as he saw Henri, Natily and Buzz cheering. Tron swung the keyblade at Flamer. Flamer grabbed it and threw it out of Tron's hands. He grasped Tron by the neck and threw him aside. Flamer marched to the imprisoned Natily.

Henri saw Flamer rushing to him. Henri walked to Flamer, Kreaten drawn. Flamer swiftly knocked Henri to the floor before he could strike. He did the same to Buzz. He released Natily from her prison and seized her by the neck. He looked at Tron and Henri.

"If you took Chaos from me, it's only fair that I take something from you!"

He sliced Natily across the stomach and stabbed her in the chest. Henri and Tron stooped breathing. Flamer dropped the bleeding Natily to the floor. Tron's rage built up inside of him. He charged at Flamer and threw his ID disc. The disc connected sharply with Flamer's face. The keyblade did the same. Tron did numerous combos on Flamer. He beat Flamer senseless and then performed the finishing blow. Flamer's bleeding head was cracked open. He was then consumed in the blue flames.

Henri struggled to reach Natily. He held her head close to him. "Natily, can you hear me? We're gonna get to a hospital in the nearest world! Just hang on!"

Natily's eyes looked into Henri's crying eyes. She tried to touch his face. "Henri," she whispered. "I…can see the…islands. The sea, the sun, everything."

Henri held her closer. "Please, just rest!"

"Henri, I…" Her voice trailed off. Her body went limp. Henri's face lost its cheerfulness. Tron dashed to Henri.

"Is she okay?" he asked. He then realized it was a stupid question. _"Of course she's not ok! Just look at poor Henri! Look at her! She's…she's…gone"_ he thought. Henri bursted into even more tears. Tron felt a new feeling. He felt many emotions when meeting Sora and other Users. But this one…it wasn't as pleasant as happiness or anything that he learnt from Sora. This one was grief.

Tron carried Natily to the ship. He and Henri left twin trails of tears. Woody, Buzz and the others followed them in lament. This day was the worst ever for both Henri and Tron.

DM, Echie, Potatokiller, Darkfire, Tronnit and Tim looked into the crystal ball. He saw Natily's lifeless body. "Great, now there's only two left!" DM laughed.

"Should we call Shades?" Echie asked. Shades was in Midgar, researching for a way to bring back Bahamut or Ifrit to turn them into Soulless and Thoughtless.

"Good idea!" DM said as he pressed the talk button on his communication radio.

Shades could hear the voice of DM from his radio. He tried to reach it, but the massive sword in his back was driven deeper into him. A hand snatched the radio from Shades. Shades looked up and saw the owner of the hand and sword. Zertonix, wielder of the Nothing's Call buster sword.

"Hello DM, where is mother and father" Zertonix asked, suavely.

"You," DM replied. "Zertonix, give it up. Echie needs them for the experiment. They aren't gonna fuse with other spirit things themselves are they?"

Zertonix got madder. "Where the hell are you? I wanna come over and personally kick your ass!" he screamed.

"You kiss your mother with that mouth? By the way, I presume Shades is dead?"

"Just about, now where are you?"

"Where else? My place. Shame only Tron knows how to get there, over and out!"

DM signed off. Zertonix threw the radio on the floor and stomped on it. He looked at Shades. He pounded his sword into Shades. Shades then burst into blue flames and died off. Zertonix took his sword and left. _"Tron"_ he thought.


	6. Space Mage and Warrior

Chapter 6: Space Mage and Warrior

**Author's Note: To those that have been waiting for this, I'm sorry but the document manager was giving me hassle! Errors and stuff, well enjoy.**

Tim Thoughtless munched on his sandwich. He walked over to DM cautiously. Making a demon mad can be the last thing you do. "So Flamer, Chaos and Shades have kicked the bucket, right?" he asked. DM just nodded as he watched TV.

"Shouldn't we be taking the spirit thingymabobs of Riku and Kairi for revenge?" DM suddenly stood up.

"You're right Tim! We've been delaying the plan for far too long now! What would I do without you?"

"Probably die sandwich deprived."

"Echie! Time to start the experiment, over" DM ordered through a comm. link

Echie picked up his comm. link. "Roger that DM, but what about the Nobody freaks? Over"

"Same plan as before Echie my friend, over and out."

Echie looked at the prisoners: Riku, Kairi and two samurai Nobodies. "May the Creator help you all" Echie chuckled as he picked up a bizarre machine.

* * *

Henri knelt down by Natily's body. He felt dead inside now. His only love and friend were gone. She was lost away in the havens. Tron looked back at his crying friend. He wondered what Selphie would say once he told her he had failed to protect the young ones. A tear rolled down his pale face. He wiped it off and focused on happy things. But how could he on a time like this?

A new planet came into view. It seemed too mechanical. Green bursts of liquid poured out of a fountain of some kind. Tron prayed for a miracle that someone could help Natily. But what were the odds of that? White mage was an unpopular class now days. How could this happen? Tron thought that as he entered the atmosphere.

* * *

Zertonix looked up at the sky. A burning light came into view there. _"Ah, Tron has arrived"_ he thought. Zertonix walked towards the city gates. The person known as Tron is the only person that knows how to reach DM's mansion. How? Zertonix has no idea. But he'll soon find out; and rescue his parents.

* * *

Tron landed the Highwind Alpha outside the city. Tron stepped out and examined the area and night's sky. He took a deep breath. At least he wasn't a toy anymore. He stared at the city before him. It somehow reminded him of home. Tron sighed deeply.

"Excuse me sir."

Tron jumped at the sound of the voice. He looked around. He saw nothing. He then continued to spin in order to spot someone. He was stopped by a hand grabbing his shoulder. It was some teenager in a black hoody. "Are you Tron?" he asked. Tron shrugged off the boy's hand.

"Who wants to know?" Tron asked.

"I'm Zertonix; I'm a space mage/warrior. I sorta need your help to find DM."

Tron looked at his feet. "Yeah, we're trying to find him too. But our friend just died 10 minutes ago by Flamer, so our mission is on hold."

Zertonix thought. "Maybe I can help."

"She's dead, there's nothing you can do!"

"Let me see her; I saved some lady called Selphie from death, I can save her."

Tron looked up. "Selphie? That's our friend's mother! Maybe you 'can' save her!" Zertonix and Tron rushed onto the ship.

Henri was still weeping over Natily's body. "This is her" Tron said. Henri looked up at Tron and Zertonix.

"Who's this?" Henri asked quietly.

"I'm Zertonix, now let me do my work. FULL-LIFE!" Beams shot across the ship and entered Natily's body. The beams mended all cuts and bruises and other wounds. Henri stood back, shocked at what was happening. The beams died off. Tron's miracle had came true. Natily came to.

"Where am I?" she asked. Henri's mouth dropped open and quivered. Natily looked at him confused. "What? You're acting as if you've never seen me before." Henri ran towards her and hugged her, bursting into more tears. "Ok, what's happening?"

Tron took the time to tell Natily that she died in battle and that Zertonix saved her from dying completely. "Well…um…thanks Zertonix." Natily barely managed to say. Zertonix just smiled.

"No problem, just here to help…huh?" He trailed off as he stared at his huge sword and then at Natily's fighting gloves. _"Where have I seen those before?"_ he thought. Suddenly, his Nothing's Call sword levitated in the air! It aimed itself at Natily's gloves and fired a Full-Life spell at her gloves. The beam impacted with the gloves. The beams bounced into the middle of the ship. Green lights fell from the heavens and composed into a body. It flashed and became fully whole. Tron and the others shielded their eyes from the light. "Where the hell am I?" a voice asked.

Tron opened his eyes. "Cloud?"

* * *

"Tim ma boy!" DM shouted across the living room. "I've got a job for you!" Tim snapped to attention.

"What is it, dude?"

"I want you to go down on Midgar and destroy these guys called Tron and Zertonix."

"I would like to and all but that is, like, not groovy…dude."

DM smirked. "I had a feeling you'd say that. So I'm holding your creator, Bill Nigh the Science Guy," DM was cut off by the annoying theme tune. "As I was saying, I have Bill hostage and I will kill him if you don't follow orders!"

Tim stood up and looked DM in the eye. "Fine, 'Man.' I'll do your dirty work, but promise you won't hurt my creator. Tron and Zertonix, got it."

Tim opened up a shadow portal and left. DM smiled, lets see Tron defeat a unstoppable creation. He picked up a comm. link.

"Echie, hold off the extracting."

"Why?" Echie asked via comm. link.

"We'll see how well Tim performs first."

* * *

"Cloud, is that really you?" Tron asked. He wasn't joking. Cloud Strife, in all his ex-SOLDIER glory, was there in front of him. The newly resurrected Cloud looked at his hands, then he felt his face, and finally his outfit. He glanced at where his brooch once was but it was missing (see Kingdom Hearts III: The Dark Crusade)! He realized that only one person could've taken it. Tifa Lockheart.

Cloud grabbed Tron. "Tron! Where's Tifa? I need to see her again!" Cloud began to shake Tron madly. Tron gradually stopped the hysteria.

"Cloud she's dead! She died after she was unable to cope that you were gone! I'm sorry."

Cloud calmed down. He looked at Henri, Natily and Zertonix. "Is it true?" Cloud asked. Henri nodded, so did Natily. Zertonix just shrugged. It looked like Cloud wanted to cry, but everyone could tell he was bottling it up. He sniveled a bit. Zertonix sighed deeply.

"Sorry about your loss, but there'll be more if we don't move on. Tron, I believe you have the co-ordinates of DM's mansion."

Tron gasped! And he was going on a wild goose chase all this time. "Egad! Your're correct User Zertonix!"

"Well dudes" said a surfer dude's voice from the ship's entrance. "Looks like you finally figured it out that Mr. Robot has DM's pad on memory file!"

Everyone swiveled around to see a Thoughtless leaning on the wall. "Wassup, dudes. Name's Tim Thoughtless, I'm here to silence Tron and Zero boy."

Everyone drew their weapons. Even Cloud did, he needed to take out some frustration on something. Why not a simple Thoughtless?

"Are you that Super Thoughtless Flamer talked about?" Henri asked.

"Cha!" Tim laughed. He primed his claws for a quick battle.

Everyone charged at Tim. Swords and fists were launched. The swords simply bounced off the Thoughtless. The fists made no marks. "Is that the best you got? C'mon!" Tim suddenly lunged and frantically swung his claws! He jumped at Henri and drop kicked him. Using the rebound off Henri he punched Natily out cold.

"Graviga!" Zertonix yelled. A black ball of gravity crushed Tim to the floor. Tron threw his ID disc and fired a magic bullet from his keyblade at the disc. The disc charged up and crashed itself into Tim's head. Tim grabbed his head. "Why's the room spinning?" Cloud jumped at him and swung his sword with full force. Tim was knocked back. Cloud threw his sword into the air. It glowed orange. The sword broke up into several mini swords. Tim stood back in shock of what was happening.

Cloud, Tron and Zertonix leapt up where the swords were. Cloud grabbed one and zoomed towards Tim. Tim's eyes grew larger as he saw Cloud approaching. "Aww sh…" Before he could finish his vulgar sentence, Cloud swiped him with one sword and rushed back and traded for another. ZOOM! Tron rushed in and slashed Tim with the keyblade. WACK! Zertonix took his turn at attacking. This onslaught repeated until Tim collapsed.

"Had enough?" Cloud asked. The weary Tim looked up. He looked at his pale skin. He noticed a small cut, about the size of a marble.

"Yes," Tim replied. "For today, I'm lackadaisical now" He opened up a shadow portal and crawled through.

"Glad that's over" Tron said. He looked over at Henri and Natily, who where starting to come to.

"What did I miss?" Henri asked. Everyone laughed at his comment. "I'm serious."

* * *

Tim crawled across DM's living room. "Father?" he cried out for Bill. DM suddenly appeared.

"Well now, failed a mission did we?"

"Oh! And you 'could' survive an Omnislash Version 5?"

DM ignored this comment. Potatokiller and Darkfire arrived at the scene. "Sir, we eliminated Bill Nigh, like you said." Tim's gasped.

"WHAT! YOU KILLED MY CREATOR!"

"You failed the mission dammit! I told you the consequences."

Tim's eye twitched. Rage built up inside. He summoned several Thoughtless and grinned evilly. Next thing DM knew, Tim striked.


	7. Then There Were Two

Chapter 7: Then There Were Two

Darkmaster, DM, the leader of The Dark Crusade. He is an (near) unstoppable demon and controller of the Soulless, brought down to a bleeding body in a matter of seconds. Tim Thoughtless was exacting his revenge on The Dark Crusade. The Soulless were powerless against his new army of Thoughtless. DM crawled away for safety, but Tim stepped in his way. Potatokiller and Darkfire were dead; DM was the sole survivor of the first attack.

A Thoughtless approached DM, as if it was going to suck out his imagination. It waited for Tim to give the order, but Tim shook his head. "Letting him live even as a mindless slave is too good for him." The Thoughtless scrambled off, knowing better to cross his superior. Tim stood over DM and stole his masamune.

"Look at you now! And to think, I took orders from you!" Tim scoffed.

DM glared at the zombie related creature. "If there's a will, there's a way; and I WILL be back!"

Tim admired the demon's courage. But that wasn't enough to make him spare DM. In a flash, Tim decapitated DM. Blood trickled down the lengthy blade.

"Now…for the others; Thoughtless, join me, it's our time!"

* * *

Echie and Tronnit saw everything threw the magic pool/mirror that all villains seem to have. Tronnit and Echie looked at each other, frightened. 

"You saw how that thing killed DM! He was the best of us and he fell to that monstrosity!" Tronnit whispered.

"Don't you think I know that? He was our friend! Our boss! Now what?"

"I don't know! DF, PK, DM, Shades, Flamer, and Chaos are dead! Joker's imagination has been drained; he's a Thoughtless…that's a plus."

"Ok, so we're outnumbered. But there are the prisoners! Riku, Kairi and the two freak Nobodies!"

"…WE KIDNAPPED THEM AND FED THEM ESCARGOT! DO YOU REALLY THINK THEY'LL CONSIDER HELPING US?"

Echie thought for a moment. "You have a point."

Tronnit sighed, they were screwed. "Well hello ladies!" a voice said jokingly. Tronnit and Echie jumped to their feet. Tim and his army had found them!

"Screw it; I'm not going down without a fight!" Tronnit grabbed his lances. Echie summoned his large scimitar. "These guys are idiots" Tim mused.

Thoughtless poured in by the ton. Tronnit swung his lances every millisecond he could. Echie did the same but breathed out fire occasionally. But it was pointless, they just kept coming.

* * *

Tron and the others said their goodbyes to Cloud back on the planet Midgar. Cloud vowed he would stay there to protect the townsfolk. Anyway, Tron dug back to the depths of his memory files to find the co-ordinates to DM's mansion. They could finally rescue Riku and Kairi! 

Zertonix kept to himself on the flight. Natily and Henri couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking. Maybe he was remembering spells for the final fight. He was a Space Mage (Space and Time Mages are pretty much the same) after all. Tron focused on flying, he didn't want them to die before they fought DM! The dark and evil planet came into view. "Get ready DM," Tron thought. "It all ends here!"

"I bet this place is crawling with Soulless" Henri muttered as they entered DM's domain. Zertonix looked at him confused.

"What are Soulless?" he asked

Tron answered his question a detailed as he could. "They're white things that DM control. We have no idea how they are born."

"Losing their souls perhaps?"

Tron ignored Zertonix's latest comment.

* * *

The four burst through the wooden doors of the mansion! "Ok, where's Riku and Kairi!" Tron demanded. But there was silence. Not a single peep. Tron readied the keyblade just in case of a Soulless ambush. But he knew he wasn't expecting anything. The mansion seemed abandoned. The place was trashed to boot as well. 

"Is anyone here?" Tron asked the empty room. A small cough came from down a stairs. The four rushed towards it and looked down. A bleeding Tronnit and Echie lay slumped against the wall. "What happened to you two?"

Tronnit and Echie looked up, breathing heavily for air. "Tim…Thoughtless…turned….on us" Echie gasped.

"Army…Thoughtless…universal…domination" Tronnit followed.

"Where are Riku and Kairi?" Tron asked.

"Where are my parents, and DM?" Zertonix added.

Tronnit made an upset face. "Everyone is downstairs, DM is dead. Tim killed him."

Tron and the others didn't know what to say. Zertonix just raced downstairs, ignoring the angel and dragon. Tron looked at Echie and Tronnit pitifully.

"Something inside of me tells me that we should help you. C'mon lets get you up."

He tried to grab Echie's arm, but Echie shrugged it off. "No! Just…just kill us! We have nothing to live for."

Tron looked at Tronnit. "He's right, just put an end to this. Tron, I'm sorry to trying to kill you last time. Now end this!"

"Wait, what of the Soulless?" Natily asked.

"Since, no one convinces the lost souls to manifest into dreadful beings…they no longer exist." explained Echie. "NOW KILL US!"

Tron remembered what he had to do. He raised the keyblade and swung it down on Echie and Tronnit. The two last members of The Dark Crusade had died. Zertonix just came up. "Guys," he said. "I found the prisoners."

* * *

The others followed Zertonix down the stairs. The prisoners came into view: Riku, Kairi and two Samurai Nobodies; all shackled up. "Henri! Natily!" Riku and Kairi yelled. Henri and Natily ran to unshackle them. When they did so, they immediately hugged. "I thought I'd never see you guys again!" Riku cried. Henri looked over to the Samurai Nobodies. 

"What's with them?" he asked Kairi.

"We don't know. They haven't tried to kill us, they just sit there. I think DM wanted to fuse our spirits with them, they could be special" Kairi replied.

Zertonix suddenly arrived and walked up to the Nobodies. He unshackled them and smiled. "You're free mum and dad." The others stared at Zertonix oddly.

"Ok, what are you doing calling the Nobodies your mom and dad?" Henri asked.

Zertonix sighed. "Ok it's time I leveled with you all. I'm a Nobody, these Samurais some how made me, but I took form of a human with time/space powers. But dark forces keep trying to kidnap my parents. I'm sorry I somewhat tricked you."

Tron looked at Zertonix, confused as ever. "How come you're not evil like Organization XIII?" he asked.

"I'm not bent on getting a heart, am I? Once I fuse with my parents, I can be whole."

The two Nobodies looked at Zertonix, he looked back. "Are you guys ready?" he asked. The two Nobodies nodded. They reached out for Zertonix, who did the same. As soon as they touched, a shining light came through. Tron, Henri, Natily, Riku and Kairi were forced to close their eyes. Zertonix looked at his parents as they faded away. "See you in the next life" he whispered. The Nobodies nodded as they faded out of existence. The light dimmed away and Zertonix was left.

* * *

"Well," Tron said. "Now that we rescued everyone, I have to stop that army of Thoughtless." Tron headed for the exit. Henri and Natily ran to him. 

"Hey, we're coming with!" Natily shouted.

"Yeah!" Henri added. "We're with you to the end!"

Tron sighed. He turned and looked at them. He knelt down by them. "My friends, this…is goodbye. This is something I feel that I have to do alone, sorry." Tron left again.

"Hey," Riku called out. Tron turned his head to look at him. "Could you give us a ride?" Tron smirked.

-

Tron dropped Zertonix, Riku, Kairi, Henri and Natily off home. Then he flew away. Tears toured down Natily's and Henri's face. "I can't believe he just left us" Natily cried. Henri put his arm around her shoulder.

"In a way, he hasn't left us" Henri said, hardly sad at all.

"How's that?" Zertonix asked.

Henri looked at him and grinned. "He's in our hearts."

Zertonix laughed. "Well, you guys do that. I'm following him." The others stared at him. Zertonix winked at them. A shadow portal appeared as he stepped into it. "I'll see you guys later."

* * *

Tron stared deeply into space. "Tim Thoughtless," he thought. "You're next." 

**XDarkmasterX is gonna kill me, I can tell. :(**


	8. Problems with Bacon

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Black Cauldron Disney movie crap and I don't want to. I didn't like the film, too rushed. I'm not really sure if Bit is an OC or not, it's based from Tron the movie, so I'm not certain. I'll let the authorities decide. Oh! I don't own any Offspring song! Ha, maybe next time you'll get me Dexter Holland! I own Zertonix, Tim Thoughtless and the Thoughtless. Just a recap.**

Chapter 8: Problems with Bacon 

Tim walked down the dark of a gloomy castle with his Thoughtless bodyguards. He muttered the words to a song.

"I hate the jocks and I hate the geeks. I hate the trendies but I also hate the freaks. I hate your band and I hate TV. I'm only happy when I'm in my misery. It's cool to hate, whoa--" Tim's (awesome) song was cut short as a monstrous creature appeared in front of him. It resembled a zombie with horns in a red cloak. The creature had a goblin servant hunched beside him.

"Tim Thoughtless!" it roared. "Why are you singing, when the cauldron has not been located?"

Tim didn't flinch at the creature's remark. "Relax, Horned King dude. My slaves…I mean 'men' are locating that psychedelic pig you're desperate to get your hands on to find the Brown Cooking Pot. What…do you like clairvoyant bacon or something?"

The Horned King growled at the Thoughtless' insolence. "Humph, respect your elders," The Horned King replied.

"Age before beauty, dude."

"ARGHH! Never mind, when we find the Black Cauldron, and make our invincible Thoughtless army. I shall rule this world!"

"Whatever dude."

* * *

Tron landed the Highwind Alpha on the nearest planet in his search for Tim. The Thoughtless army couldn't have traveled that far. Shadow portals don't last 'that' long! Anyway, the view from the planet above wasn't that great. It was just green fields, huge mountains and a scary looking castle. Not much to leave to the imagination.

Tron stepped outside into a meadow. There was a cottage nearby, as well as a farm. Well else better than to start a quest than a farm? Tron approached the cottage door and knocked on it. He waited for the answer. Then he heard a noise down by his feet. Tron glanced down, there was a small pig looking at him.

Tron knelt down beside it. "Umm…greetings…user! I trust that your people are the superior race on this planet." The little pig just grunted. "Maybe not" Tron added. Finally, someone answered the door. It was a young lad with brown hair and medieval attire.

"Hello sir, can I help you?" the boy asked. The boy noticed the pig next to Tron's feet. "Hen-Wen! Don't bother the guest!" The pig trotted to its pen.

"Yes young man," Tron replied. "I was wondering if you'd seen any suspicious people around."

"Yes actually, I saw this man snooping around, so I caught him using my trusty sword!" The boy produced a shiny gold sword from his belt.

"Excellent!" Tron said, happily. "May I see him?"

The boy went inside the cottage and brought outside a brown bag. He opened it in front of Tron, showing the captive.

"Oh Almighty User," Tron sighed. "Zertonix, what did you do now?"

True as he Tron said. The captive was none other than Zertonix. "Hey, waddup Tron?"

"Zertonix, what are you doing here?"

"Stalking my buddy, but 'Taran, the Great Warrior' bagged me for going near his pet bacon-on-legs!"

Zertonix felt the handle of Taran's sword against his head. "OW! THAT HURT LIKE A M----- F-----!

"Don't ever call Hen-Wen that!" Taran yelled. "Besides, she's a special pig. She can foretell the future!"

Tron coughed. "Wow then….that's new for me." A girl came out of the cottage. She was young and had blonde hair. She was very pretty, so Tron calculated that she was of royal blood (stereotypes, you gotta love 'em!). She was followed by a furry, grey creature.

"Oh, this is Princess Eilonwy, and the little creature is Gurgi" Taran said.

Eilonwy did a little curtsey. "Nice to meet you…uh…"

"Sorry," Tron said. "We didn't introduce ourselves properly. I'm Tron, the Keybearer. This is Zertonix, a Time/Space Mage."

"Nice to meet you two" Taran and Eilonwy both said. Suddenly, Gurgi jumped onto Tron and was searching him.

"C'mon, stranger must have munchies and crunchies somewhere!" Gurgi complained in his fuzzy voice. He continued to search through his clothes. He then jumped off. "Poor Gurgi, never getting any munchies or crunchies!"

Eilonwy and Taran giggled. Eilonwy threw Gurgi and apple. Gurgi munched down happily. "Well," Tron said. "That was a bit out of the ordinary."

"Mister Tron," Gurgi suddenly spoke up. "I found these in your pockets. Are they munchy and crunchy?" He handed Tron a small ball and a bar. Tron took them and examined them. His face lit up!

"Why, this is my Bit!" he exclaimed, holding up the ball.

"Dude," Zertonix said. "There is a time and a place."

"No, a Bit is a companion of a program. It must have gotten un-digitized with me! And this bar is my light cycle! I wonder if I can reanimate them."

Tron placed them on the floor. He pointed his keyblade at the inanimate objects. A burst of light flew from the keyblade and struck the Bit and bar! The objects began to glow. The Bit flew up and danced around Tron. "It worked" Tron laughed. "Yes!" the Bit beeped.

-

"Ok," Tim said to a Thoughtless. "Yo, Horny King! We've located the magical piggy!"

The Horned King burst into an outrage. "Curse you! It's The Horned King! Not horny…whatever that means."

"Ok dude, I personally don't give a f---! But we found the tripping bacon, got it?"

"Fine, I'll send my wyverns to get it." He clapped his bony hands; two wyverns flew out a window. "You know Tim; you're the most difficult person I've had to work with."

"Uh-huh, sure, whatever, I love you to man." There was a very long, awkward silence. "Forget that last bit; I was on auto-pilot."

-

"Hen-Wen!" Taran cried. Two wyverns had swooped down and grabbed the little piggy! "C'mon guys, we gotta chase after them!"

"We can't Taran! They're covering way too much ground" Eilonwy groaned.

Tron looked at Bit, then he looked at Zertonix, then he looked at a sheep, then at the light cycle bar. "You guys thinking what I'm thinking?" Tron asked them.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes!" Bit beeped.

"Lamb chops?" Zertonix guessed. Tron slapped his forehead.

"No you klutz! We use the LC bar to make a light cycle to carry the warriors to that scary castle!"

"Oh….but then we get lamb chops?"

"No" beeped Bit.

Tron placed his bar in front of him. He begged that it would work. Slowly but surely, a gold light cycle started to digitize around him! "Say hello to the Armagetron!"

"Cool, shame about the color," Zertonix complained. "Black would work too y'know."

"Just get your butt in the bike, you too Taran."

Taran told Eilonwy and Gurgi to stay behind. He hopped inside the Armagetron and they all zoomed off to a very nasty looking castle.

* * *

"Yo King, the wyverns got the piggy!" Tim shouted.

"Excellent!" The Horned King screamed in delight, all most school-girlish. He grabbed the pig and placed a bowl of water in Hen-Wen's face. "Magical piggy, share me your wisdom. Show me the location of The Black Cauldron!"

Hen-Wen's eyes dilated and she went into a trance. "That's one stoned swine" Tim laughed, munching on some peanuts. Soon, the bowl was filled with magic lights, showing Hen-Wen's ability was in effect. "Whoa man," Tim gasped, hippy-like. "I can see the colors! Must've been that mushroom I found."

Soon, the lights took in the form of the cauldron. The Horned King smiled as he gazed upon it. "Yes! The location is about to be revealed!" The lights then made a form of some jeans. The lights disappeared as Hen-Wen snapped out of the trance. "No!" The Horned King screamed. "I didn't find out the location! How can I destroy Prydain, when I can't find the instrument of destruction?"

The Horned King then noticed Tim Thoughtless rolling on the floor, clutching his sides and laughing his head off. "Is there something I should know?" The King asked.

"Aww dude…I can't (laugh) believe it! (laughing)" Tim chuckled.

"What are you chortling about? The cauldron hasn't been found and I don't understand the omens!"

"Dude, I'm not sure how to tell you this but, The Black Cauldron is in your other pair of pants!"

The Horned King's roar of frustration could be heard for miles.


	9. The Dukes of Prydain

**Author's Note:** I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my friend Jon's chick, Lil' Peep (the Black Chocobo!). Why dedicate a chapter to a chicken? Because I'm doolally!

Chapter 9: The Dukes of Prydain

"You mean that The Black Cauldron is in my other pair of pants?" The Horned King screamed. Tim nodded, wiping a tear of laughter from his eye. "Then that means--"

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Tim went into a laughing fit. The Horned King stopped his sentence. Tim stopped laughing.

"As I was saying--"

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Tim went into his fit of the giggles. The Horned King stopped talking again. Tim, once again, stopped laughing.

"Are you quite finished?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Good, as I was saying--"

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

"DAMMIT TIM! STOP IT!"

"Ooh, someone isn't getting enough loving at home!"

"Enough of this! I'm going to get the cauldron."

* * *

"Are we there yet?" Taran moaned.

"If you say that ONE more time, I'm turning this light cycle around!" Tron screamed.

They had been racing for the scary castle for a good hour now. Tron had gotten irritable because of Taran's constant whining, as well as the medieval speed bumps. "Hey Tron, does this thing have a stereo?" Zertonix suddenly asked. Tron looked at him awkwardly.

"Yeees, it does."

"Can you play this CD?"

Tron laughed. "Ha, my ID disc has every song written!" Tron inserted his ID disc into the CD player. A funky beat started to kick in. Tron started to sing along.

"If you wanna take a ride with me." Suddenly Zertonix started singing along; it took a while to adjust to the lyrics. "Oh, why do I live this way? Hey, must be the money!"

"STOP SINGING!" Taran screamed. Everyone looked at him.

Zertonix stared at him angrily. "Shut up, you're not my mother!"

"Wait," Taran screamed. "There's The Horned King's castle! Hen-Wen must be in there, being forced to reveal The Black Cauldron's location!"

"What's The Black Cauldron?" Tron asked. "A doomsday weapon?"

"Pretty much, if someone evil gets his forward slash her hands on it, they can summon an evil army of any race!"

"I bet Tim is here helping The Horned King create more Super Thoughtless!" Tron screamed, like a little girl.

"Is there anyway to stop the army?" Zertonix asked.

"Yes, someone has to jump in the cauldron, but in free will!"

Tron thought for a bit. Then a light bulb appeared above his head!

"Zertonix! Get that away from my head!"

* * *

"Rise, my army of Super Thoughtless! Rise and spread destruction!" The Horned King roared.

A chicken popped its head out of the cauldron. "Sorry," Tim apologized. "I left that in there earlier. Ok…now rise!"

Suddenly, a Thoughtless jumped out of the cauldron. "I say, this is the 'life' everyone in the waiting room talks about….a bit drab, I say."

An endless supply of Thoughtless began to pop out of the cauldron. The left for outside, their instincts already programmed. They all said "Harry Potter is the bee's knees," or "fancy some tea and crumpets?"

"Congratulations Horn Boy," Tim said. "You've created posh/crap stereotype English Thoughtless."

"Oh dragon droppings."

* * *

Tron saw a whole lot of Thoughtless heading towards them. "Uh-oh, there is an army of Thoughtless charging at us. What should we do?"

Everyone thought for a moment. Both of Zertonix and Taran's faces lit up. "RAM THEM!"

Tron hit the acceleration and zoomed straight after the Thoughtless. The army saw this and two words entered their minds. _"Oh bugger."_

Many Thoughtless collided with the light cycle, landed on the wind screen and rolled off the roof. Some simply went under the wheels. Soon after, some Thoughtless played dead and all clumped into a pile.

"Dude!" Zertonix screamed. "They're forming a ramp!"

The light cycle raced towards the ramp! Tron tried to turn or hit the brakes but they wouldn't work. The light cycles climbed up the ramp and rocketed into the air.

"_Now them warrior boys best learn to fly, or start flapping their arms."_

Tron, Zertonix and Taran screamed as they flew across the sky. Shortly after, the screams turned into a "YEEEEEEEEEEHAAAA!"

The light cycle crashed into a window near the top floor. Everyone crashed through the wind screen. Tron looked up and saw The Horned King and Tim. "I haven't been drinking! The zombie guys made me do it!"

* * *

Tron, Taran and Zertonix were faced against an army of Thoughtless, the feared Horned King, and an evil Super Thoughtless. "Waddup Tron, long time no see" said Tim.

"Horned King, where's Hen-Wen?" Taran asked, forcefully.

"We ate her!" The Horned King bellowed.

"What!"

"Nah just kidding, she's in a pig pen."

"Oh…ok then, but I'm still gonna have to kill ya."

Taran drew the magic glowing sword and lunged at The Horned King. He let his sword go; it danced around The Horned King and stabbed him. He fell dead. "That was easy."

"Ok, but there is an army to stop" Zertonix mentioned.

"I've got that figured out! Observe!" Tron exclaimed. "Hey Thoughtless! There's a shiny 50 pence coin in The Black Cauldron!"

Every Thoughtless piled into The Black Cauldron. Then, suddenly, a green smoke appeared! It came smothered the new Super Thoughtless across Prydain and then it disappeared, along with the Super Thoughtless. Tim stood back, shell-shocked at the incident.

Once the smoke lifted. Everyone turned their attention on Tim. Tim smiled weakly. "Yeah…I'm gonna go." He opened up a shadow portal and left the building.

"And that's the end of that chapter" Zertonix announced, happily. "Now lets blow this thing and go home!"

* * *

Eilonwy and Gurgi stared out of a window and waited for the return of the others. "I hope they're alright" Eilonwy sighed.

"Master and travelers be ok!" Gurgi assured her. Eilonwy smiled, but not for long! An explosion bursted forth from the castle! Eilonwy and Gurgi stared out of the window, almost tipping out of it. In the distance, they saw an Armagetron catching huge air off a hill. Yep, they were safe.

* * *

"So you guys have to move on?" Taran asked.

"I'm afraid so, Tim could be causing havoc anywhere!" Tron replied.

"Well good luck, and thanks for helping me!"

Tron and Zertonix climbed into the Highwind Alpha and headed off into outer space, knowing that they've made good friends. "This is must've how Sora felt when he saved worlds" Tron thought to himself. He smiled, there was still more to come! Plus he gained a sense of humor!

**Next Chapter: Read all about it! Santa loses it!**


	10. The Night Santa Went Crazy

**Disclaimer: I own no Weird Al songs, savvy? No matter how funny they are…me no own! This chapter is based on The Nightmare Before Xmas and Weird Al's song, The Night Santa Went Crazy. Yippers!**

Chapter 10: The Night Santa Went Crazy

"Zertonix! Give me my ID disc back!" Tron yelled, crossly.

"C'mon Tron, if this thing has every song written then we should listen to some!" Zertonix pushed the disc into the ship's computer and searched through the songs. "Yes! I found it!" he cried happily.

"What song is it?" Tron asked.

"One about computers" Zertonix replied.

"Well play it." Zertonix pushed the play button and the song played. Tron smiled and sung along with Zertonix. (It's all about the Pentiums by Weird Al Yankovic)

"It's all about the Pentiums baby! It's all about the Pentiums baby! It's all about the Pentiums! It's all about the Pentiums, yeah!

Whatcha you wanna do? Wanna be hackers?

Code crackers, slackers

Wasting time with all the chat room yakkers.

5 to 9 chilling at Hewlled Packard

Working at a desk with a dumb little placard

Yeah, paying the bills with my mad programming skills

I'm cracking my hard drive for thrills

I got me 100 giga bytes of RAM

I never read trolls and I don't do spam

Install the D1 line in my house

Always at my PC, double clicking on my mouse

Upgrade my system at least twice a day

I'm drinking Dr. Flay

I'm not afraid of Y2K

I call Bill Gates; I call him money for short

I call him up from home and I make him do my tech support

It's all about the Pentiums WHAT!"

Suddenly Zertonix hit the stop button. "What was that for?" Tron asked. Zertonix pointed in front of him. There was a new world! It seemed to be a nice place, except it was covered in snow. "Christmas Town?" Tron asked.

"I do believe so!"

"Do my eyes deceive me, is that Santa's sleigh?"

"Depends, have you been on the weed?"

"Wait, I thought those leaves were lettuce!"

"Nah it was. It is Santa! Honk the horn!"

Tron honked the horn. Santa looked at the Highwind Alpha. Tron and Zertonix waved at the fat jolly man. Santa waved back, and then pulled out a rocket launcher. "That can't be right" Tron whispered. Zertonix shook his head. Santa gave them the finger and fired a missile. Tron turned the steering wheel to evade the missile. They managed to dodge it by an inch!

"Tron, I think we should land!" Zertonix suggested. Tron agreed. Suddenly Bit, who had been hiding most of the last two chapters, appeared.

"Hey Bit," Tron said. "Should we land?"

"YES, YES, YES!" Bit beeped. Tron did so, just as Santa launched another missile.

* * *

Tron landed the ship in the plaza. Tron and Zertonix walked out, Bit stayed to guard the ship. If anyone appeared, Bit would bother them to death. "Ok, so Santa tried to kill us. That doesn't mean he's a bad guy!" Tron said.

"He tried to blast us into smithereens with a boom stick! He's nuts!" Zertonix screamed.

"You know what, lets ask the elves that help him."

* * *

Tron and Zertonix marched through several feet of snow, cold snow….very cold snow. The area was filled with candy canes, Xmas trees, snow, more snow, presents, snow, lights, did I mention snow? Penguins (which everyone loves) ran around ice skating, polar bears chased elves and bullet holes spelling 'Santa woz ere' was spelt on every wall. Tron and Zertonix found the toy factory entrance. So naturally they entered.

Elves cowered as Tron and Zertonix entered the room. "Um….why is Santa trying to kill people?"

An elf walked out into the open. "He just came back from Xmas delivering and he started killing people…HE'S BACK! RUN!" The elves ran behind their tables. Tron and Zertonix slowly turned around for dramatic effect. Santa was behind them, cheap whisky was easily smelt on his beard and breath. He was strapped with ammo belts. He held machine guns and shotguns. He boomed out a sentence.

"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"

Santa fired bullets in every direction! Tron and Zertonix screamed "oh snap" and ran for cover! Bullets flew past their heads. Zertonix pulled out some metal pieces out of his pockets; Tron ignored this and chucked his ID disc at Santa. Santa dodged it and threw a grenade at them. BLAM! Something blasted through the grenade before it reached Tron or Zertonix. Sure, some elves' brains were penetrated by shrapnel, but it was for the greater good (no, not really. But it's cool to think that!).

Tron looked at where the shot came from. Zertonix was holding a weird rifle, with a weird ammo container. "What the heck is that?" Tron asked.

"Paintball gun, I got it on eBay. Every Space/Time Mage must know how to skirmish."

"Hmm…I never knew that."

Zertonix popped up from behind the table and fired six/ten shots at Santa. Santa screamed in horror as his red coat was stained by yellow paint. He was mad now! He tore off his jacket (not a pretty sight) and roared drunkenly. He fired off more rounds off his machine gun. Zertonix rolled across the floor and fired more paintballs. They hit Santa's beer belly and he screamed in the agonizing pain that paintballs cause. Tron threw his ID disc and ran to the toy creation room.

* * *

Tron sealed the door lock with the keyblade, but he knew that Santa would break through. Elves trembled in their boots as they glanced at Zertonix's paintball gun. "Take me to your leader" Zertonix chuckled. A smart looking elf came out amongst the rabble.

"I'm Doc, the leader of the Against Santa's Sanity group" the elf said, rather posh like.

"I'm Tron and this is…hang on a tick, your group is called A.S.S?"

"Is that a problem?" Doc asked, quite offended.

"Nah, I'm Zertonix by the way" Zertonix added.

"Good, now back to St. Nick. I believe that Santa's rage is caused by all the sherry those dang kids leave out. I've noticed that the reindeers have turned orange as well."

"Ok, what do you want us to do?" Zertonix asked, curtly.

"Take this sober pill and get it inside Santa's mouth" Doc explained. Tron grabbed the round pill and examined it. It was labeled 'use in case of disgruntled toy givers.'

"Ok, we'll get it in him" Tron replied.

"That's what she said" Zertonix giggled.

* * *

Suddenly an axe came crashing through the door! It made a small opening. Tron drew his keyblade; Zertonix would normally draw his Nothing's Call sword but whipped out his trusty paintball gun. A blood shot eye stared through the hole. Zertonix raised his gun and aimed at the eye, but the eye left. A grenade was thrown through the hole. Zertonix groaned.

"Yeah…this day is getting better" he grumbled. Tron picked it up and chucked it out a window. The grenade exploded and several penguins flew into the room, unharmed fortunately. Santa burst through the door and roared as usual. Tron smacked him across the face with the keyblade and tried to shove the pill down his pie-hole. Santa grabbed Tron and threw him away; Tron dropped the pill onto the floor. Zertonix retrieved it with haste.

Santa growled at the elves. He grabbed a gatling gun from out of nowhere and blasted Doc instantly to shreds. Once Zertonix had the pill, he noticed that it could fit down something. He dropped the sober pill into his hopper and whistled to Jolly Old Saint Nick. Santa turned and growled. Zertonix aimed at Santa's face with his paintball gun.

"Oi Santa!" Zertonix yelled. "I'll give you a silent night!" He fired a sphere, vomit-colored ball from his gun. It was the pill! Santa roared as the pill entered his mouth and traveled down his digestive system. Santa immediately sober-ized.

* * *

So in the end, Santa became sober once more and apologized for killing innocent elves and vowed off alcohol and Shreddies cereal. The unharmed penguins demanded an apology as well. He also apologized to Tron and Zertonix. They accepted it, but Zertonix shot Santa in the leg. Tron started beating Father Christmas with the keyblade. When asked why, the two said that Santa was actually a Thoughtless. This, however, was disproved, as it is a well known fact that Thoughtless hate Xmas because of the bloody commercials that keep repeating even after the holiday. Seriously though, WTF is that all about?

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the abandoned Dark Crusade mansion!

Chiller, Flamer's younger brother, burst through the door. "Flamer, I'm back from the grocers, am I in the DC now…Flamer? Darkmaster…Tronnit…Shades… Ned Flanders?" Though Chiller cried out, he finally noticed the dead DC bodies lying everywhere. "Oh…" Chiller sighed. "This is awkward…I guess I should bring them back after all…this place smells funny!"

Chiller raised his arms and an occult circle formed around him. Bursts of lights came from the ground! They soon faded, revealing…The Dark Crusade!

**Next Chapter: Ever heard of a small town in Wisconsin called Three Lakes? Illinois beware!**


	11. Curse you Illinois!

**Author's Note:** I you're from Illinois, then I suggest you don't read this. BUT STAY IN YOUR OWN STATE FOR 4th OF JULY! I CANNOT TAKE YOU TOURISTS! Even though I don't live in Three Lakes, I used to; God, you Illinois tourists are annoying. Admiring every single lamppost…FTM! The characters in this chapter are real people.

Chapter 11: Curse you Illinois!

Tron and Zertonix saw a new world up ahead of them. It was a small town; covered by forests, lakes and….that was about it. Anyway, Tron figured that Tim could be there. So why not land? Well, he would've, but there were thousands of gummi ships! Loads of ships were lining up for just one planet!

"I do not believe this!" Tron groaned.

"Wanna hear my solution?" Zertonix asked. Bit suddenly flew up beside him.

"Yes!" it beeped.

"Sure," Tron replied. "Make me laugh."

"We blast our way through!"

"Yes, yes, yes, yes!" Bit beeped happily.

"No!" Tron shouted, angrily. "We are civilized people forward slash programs; we shall keep…being…civilized."

"Fine…booger head."

* * *

Tron was still stuck in the space traffic jam to get the planet. Tension was building up in his hard drive; his eye twitching, his fingers dwindling, his teeth gritting. Then he finally had enough.

BLAM! KAPOW! BOOM! EXPLODING SOUNDS! LOUD NASTY NOISES! KABLOOIE! KERPOW! BOOM TO THE POWER OF TEN!

In case you were too stupid to figure out what happened. Tron blew up the ship blocking his way. There, he did it. He gave in to Zertonix's suggestion. I hope you're happy. Back to the story: he blasted his way through the ships and reached the planet before the police arrived.

-

Tron landed on top of a gas station, called Citgo. He and Zertonix got out of the ship naturally. They suddenly found out who all the ships belonged to. Tourists! Thousands of the buggers! All their cars or ships license plates read 'Illinois.' Tron was puzzled.

"Zertonix, why would 'Illinoisans--"

"No Tron, you call them F.I.Bs."

"Huh? What does that mean?" Tron asked. Zertonix whispered it to him. "Oh…ok then, why would so many F.I.Bs come here?"

"It's because it's 4th of July week! I learnt that people come here to see the landscape and crap like that. This must be Three Lakes, WI!"

"Three Lakes…ok, Illinoisans…is that a Thoughtless?" Tron said, pointing to a pale tourist complete with a Hawaiian shirt, Capri pants, a baseball camps, and a camera.

"Hmm….I think it is. HEY YOU STINKING THOUGHTLESS! LOOK OVER HERE!" Zertonix screamed his lungs out at the Thoughtless. The Thoughtless looked at them, raised his camera and took a picture. "Damn retard."

Zertonix got frustrated and drew his hefty sword. He jumped off the gas station roof and marched towards the Thoughtless. It rushed to Zertonix, in hopes of his imagination. Zertonix raised his sword but suddenly, someone grabbed him! Zertonix looked behind him, some Illinoisan had grabbed him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Zertonix yelled at him.

"Do you think that the lamppost next to you is pretty?"

"Huh…what? Uh…yeah actually, the color is ni…hey wait a minute!" Zertonix called over to Tron.

"Dude," Zertonix whispered. "I can't kill the Thoughtless because of these F.I.Bs keep interrupting me!"

"Let me try" Tron said. He raised his keyblade to strike the Thoughtless. Same thing happened to him, except the Illinois dude asked him what color the sky was. The tourist Thoughtless smiled as it reached for Tron's head. Was this the end? Of course not! We haven't reached the end of the story yet! If you watch movies, you know something will save you in the last minute!

POW! POW! POW!

A paintball capped the Thoughtless and the two Illinoisans in the head, causing the paint to get in the eye and ultimately killing them. Zertonix and Tron looked in the direction of the shot. There were three people in camouflage and wearing paintball masks. By their heights you could tell that two were teenagers and one was an adult.

"Put your hands in the air!" the adult commanded. Tron and Zertonix raised their hands slowly. "Now follow us" the man ordered. Tron and Zertonix did so; otherwise they'd feel how painful a paintball from 1ft away is. The three paintball players lead them to an evangelical free church.

* * *

Inside the church were two unmasked teenagers. One was blonde, quite tall and wore a Harley Davidson t-shirt. The other was slightly older and had dirty brown curly hair.

"Are they tourists?" the blonde asked the three paintball players. The adult removed his mask. He was in his twenties and had curly brown hair.

"We don't know, we found them trying to hit some tourists and a pale one" the man replied.

"Tourist?" Zertonix said out loud. "Nah, we're just trying to find some whack job bent on world domination!"

"Sure," the man said. "That's what they all say."

"Really?" Tron asked.

"Well…no not really, but it seemed like the kinda time to say that."

"Well," Tron continued. "We're trying to find some dude named Tim Thoughtless; he commands the 'pale ones' as you call them."

The paintball players looked around uneasily. Tron figured that they feared the Thoughtless. The man looked at Tron and Zertonix. "My name's Eli" he said, offering his handshake.

Tron shook it. "I'm Tron, this is Zertonix." Zertonix waved his hand. Eli smiled.

"Well, the guy is Jon," Eli said while pointing to the unmasked blonde. "That's John Meeder," he said pointing to the other unmasked teenager.

The others took off their masks. The shorter teenager wore glasses and had short brown hair. The other was a lot older and had long blonde hair. Eli introduced the young boy as Gabe, and the older one as Josh.

"We fight the tourist every 4th of July week," John said. "We don't have a problem, but these pale ones have been giving us a hard time!"

"Oh by the way," Tron said. "They're called Thoughtless, not pale ones. They steal imaginations and convert others into them."

"Ok," Gabe replied. "But they've been pestering us and we can only take 'em out with paintballs, tourists keep interrupting other attacks."

"Makes you wonder, have the F.I.Bs teamed up with the Thoughtless?" Zertonix suddenly said.

* * *

"Ok Mr. Governor of Illinois, you've got a deal," Tim said. "I'll help you conquer Three Lakes so you guys don't have to come every 4th of July week."

"Ok Tim…what's the catch?" Mr. Governor asked.

"Umm…you supply…umm…carrot….flavored…ice cream! That's it! Carrot flavored ice cream!"

"What? Carrot flavored ice cream? What about gold?"

"Sod gold! We Thoughtless love carrot flavored ice cream! It reminds us of the hunt!"

"Have you even tried it before?"

"No...but it will!

"Carrot flavored ice cream is very hard to make. Have you considered--"

"DAMMIT BOY! I WANT CARROT FLAVORED ICE CREAM!" Tim pouted at the top of his voice.

"Ok! Fine…what about platinum?"

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO REPEAT MYSELF? JUST GIVE US THE BLOODY ICE CREAM! GOD!"

"Fine, but there is a resistance force consisted of paintball players, a guy with a key sword, a guy with a big sword, and dog which understands the word 'steak'" the governor warned.

"Hmm…Tron and Zertonix are here? This could prove deadly in my plot to get carrot flavored ice cream" Tim said to himself (out loud).

"What's with you and carrot flavored ice cream?"

"RESPECT MA AUTHORITY BEEYATCH!"

* * *

Tron was armed with a paintball gun and padding. Zertonix was giving a new gun since Santa almost wrecked his own one in the last chapter. "Sweet," Zertonix chuckled. "I can cause damage with this!"

"Yep," Gabe said "and, if you're careful, you can even blind and kill people!"

"Yep, I did that to some guy from Kansas!" John Meeder laughed. Suddenly, the building shook violently!

"Son of a pork chop!" Jon shouted. "What the hell was that?"

Eli filled his paintball gun. "Let's move out! Tron and Zertonix, welcome to Team Burt!"

* * *

Tron and the Three Lakes gang ran into town. In front of them were thousands of Illinoisans and Thoughtless (who don't take their job seriously), all branding pitchforks and torches.

"What's this?" Tron asked sarcastically. "The Windows 98 era?" Everyone stared at him. Josh suddenly chuckled.

"Ha, I get it!"

* * *

Tim was standing next to a bunch of test tubes and other scientific crap. The Governor of Illinois arrived at the scene. "Tim, what are you doing?"

Tim poured some chemicals into a beaker. "I'm creating myself a 'brother' if you must know."

"Why?"

"I'm lonely…Bill was my only family" Tim sighed sadly.

"You have me" Governor said.

"Yeah, but you're a dossers! I mean, look at yourself!" Tim replied curtly. Tim rolled the pupils he wished he had in his vacant eyes. He dumped a white fluid into the mix. BANG! A massive explosion…well, exploded!

Tim wiped the ashes off his red sweater. "Ok, I that was a success."

The Governor fumed. "THE WHOLE DANG ROOM BLEW UP! YOU CALL THAT A SUCCESS?"

"Well how do explain the Super Thoughtless in the blue t-shirt and red pants?"

Lo and behold, Tim was right (for once). A Thoughtless, in the attire that Tim said, stood before them. He was like Tim in everyway but had brown hair instead of blonde. "Sweet! I shall call you Taylor."

"Sounds alright to me, mate" Taylor replied.

"Good, now together we shall rule the universe!"

"Blimey! I don't want that! I'm a nice lad!" Taylor cried. Taylor dove out of a window with a loud crash. He climbed back in and grabbed two automatic pistols. "Yeah…I'm gonna take these." Taylor then rushed off.

"Dammit!" Tim screamed. "I forgot to add the angry pills!" The Governor picked up a bottle and examined it. It read 'Angry Pills: Guaranteed to make anyone bent on city/county/state/country/global/universal domination.'

* * *

Team Burt waited for the Thoughtless and the Illinoisans to make their move. They had their triggers ready for action. Tron was about to fire at the lead Thoughtless. When suddenly without warning, a brunette Thoughtless in a blue t-shirt and red pants landed in front of the Thoughtless. It jumped to its feet, holding its guns in the air as it shouted.

"I'm clean! I swear to…to…the great…pixie…in the sky…what's his face? God? That's it!"

Tron looked puzzled. He then decided to communicate to the paranoid Thoughtless. "Umm…why aren't you attacking us?" Tron shouted.

"Huh? Oh, I was genetically made to not blow the living crap out of anything good. If they're bad, I BLOW THE S--- OUT OF IT!"

"How can you tell…fo'shizzle?" Zertonix asked.

"I have sensors, and my name is Taylor Thoughtless dammit!" Taylor glanced behind his shoulder. A thousand glaring mobsters were behind him. "What…am I in the way?"

The mob roared. Taylor fell back to Team Burt. "Mind of I help?" Taylor asked Eli.

"Sure, the more the merrier."

Suddenly, Tim and the Governor of Illinois appeared in front of them. "Ha-ha fools! Soon we can rule Three Lakes! Soon we can--"

Gabe shot his in the leg. Jon and John Meeder did the same. Eli and Josh followed up. Tron and Zertonix fired 112 shots each. "Eat that F.I.B!" Zertonix yelled.

The Governor pulled himself to his feet. "Ouch…never mind! We still have the Thoughtless on our side! We can still win my fellow Illinoisans!" The Illinoisans cheered and chanted: Kill the W.I.Fs! Kill the W.I.Fs!"

"Actually," Tim said. "Since we've already got the carrot flavored ice cream, we can sod off, leaving you to be painted. Cheerio!" Tim raised a cone of carrot flavored ice cream and cheered "FTM!". The Thoughtless did the same, but said "sticking it to the man" and then disappeared into shadow portals. The Illinoisans looked blankly at Team Burt, who had their paintball guns ready. Taylor switched his auto pistols ammo to paintballs.

"FIRE!" Gabe screamed. The sound of paint splattering was heard miles away.

* * *

The multicolored Illinoisans were beaten back to their gummi ships in the end. Tron grabbed his keyblade and left for the Highwind Alpha. Zertonix quickly followed. "If you guys ever stop by, don't be a stranger" Eli said.

"Yeah, we could catch blue gill and bass" Jon added.

"You have e-mail?" Gabe asked. "I've got MSN. I'm called crazy chicken, or powerless chicken."

"Sure, next time we will!" Tron replied. Tron and Zertonix waved good bye to the people of Three Lakes and left on the ship.

Tron collapsed on the captain seat and sighed deeply. Zertonix jumped into the co-pilot's seat. Then they heard something in the kitchen. Tron summoned his keyblade and dashed for the room. The fridge was wide open, and someone was stuffing his or her face. Tron crept behind the culprit and raised his keyblade. He slammed the keyblade into the person's head! The perpetrator crashed to the floor with a thud. "What was that for Tron?" the person asked crossly. Tron sighed.

"Taylor, how the hell did you get in here?" Tron asked.

"Obviously through the door" Taylor replied sarcastically.

"Well what are you doing here?" Tron asked.

"I wanted to tag along, you don't mind do you?"

"Uh yes!"

"Please, I've got no where else to go, my brother is evil, and I…I can dance!"

"Fine, you can come with us!"

"YAY!"

**Next chapter: FOR NARNIA!**


	12. The Lion, The Program, and The Nobody

**Disclaimer: **Ghost was created and owns by Ghost Bastion. Narnia is owned by C.S Lewis and Disney.

Chapter 12: The Lion, the Thoughtless, the Nobody, and the Program

"Damn that Tim!" DM roared. "Where does he get off killing us?"

"Well, we did kill his creator." PK said. "So he…"

"Shut your pie hole! Anyways, he's a twit!"

Tronnit rummaged through the fridge. "HEY! THERE WAS A CASE OF MUELLER LITE IN THE FRIDGE! NOW THERE ARE NONE! CURSE YOU TIM!"

"We'll mourn the beverages later," said Echie. "But I have someone to introduce you all to! Say hello to Ghost!"

The mansion doors opened and a young man walked in, dressed in black and wielding gauntlet claws. "Hello, nice to be here."

"How'd he get in the DC?" Darkfire asked.

"Ah, I bet the met on the internet!" Shades chuckled.

"Shut it!" Echie shouted.

"Echie lured him in with promises of puppies and candy!"

"SHADES! HE CONTACTED US! OK?"

"Jeez, what's up your ass?" DM asked.

"I bet it's a mouse!" Tronnit laughed.

"Anyway!" Ghost shouted. "I'm here to help you kick Tim Thoughtless back to the Stone Age!"

"He's not from the Stone Age," Tronnit mentioned. "He's from the present."

"Hush ya mush!" barked DM.

-

"Dammit Taylor!" Tron screamed. "Get the hell out of my spare pants!"

"But they show of my butt" whimpered Taylor.

"Trust me dude, we don't need to see/hear/touch/smell/taste that" Zertonix said.

"Anyway," Tron said. "My keyblade is telling me to head to 'that' planet over there!"

Everyone looked outside and saw a snow covered world. It was filled with frozen lakes, mountains and forests. "Is that Xmas Town?" Taylor asked.

"Nah, we've already been there. This is some place new" Zertonix explained. Zertonix looked at the control panel and started to prepare to land. He pushed a button…but his finger was stuck to it! Only after tugging millions of times did he managed to pull it free.

"What happened there?" Tron asked. Then he found out. The control panel was freezing over! "Oh s---!"

The ship froze up and started to crash into the atmosphere!

-

Meanwhile, Tim was in the castle of the supposed queen of the land, the White Witch. "Ok Queen. It's agreed, I'll help you kill that kitty cat, Aslan…meow."

"Excellent!" the Witch cackled. "Now let me show you around my chambers. These statues are the remains of my enemies. These rooms go to the dungeon, and this is my pride and joy!" She then paused and looked at Tim. "Did you hear any of that?"

Tim was air guitar-ing like crazy while listening to an ipod. He looked at the witch and took the headphones off. "Sorry, I was doing the guitar solo to Sweet Child O' Mine…Slash we love you!"

"Well this is the…"

"Where do we go where do we go now, where do we go, where do we go, where do we go now, where do we go now. Where do we go, Where do we go now. Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye, Where do we go now! Where do we go, Where do we go now, Where do we go, Where do we go now! Where do we go? Where do we go now? SWEEET CHIILLLD! SWEEEET CHILD O' MIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNEEE!"

"TIM! Are you like this all the time?"

"Yep, you were saying?"

"This is the universal swear blocker! It blocks all swear words so it only comes up as hyphens!"

Tim stared deeply into the globe shaped object. The F word floated in front of him. "If I break this…will I be able to swear?"

"Yes but don't or…"

"WHOOPS! My finger slipped!" Tim said as he punched it to the floor. The sphere shattered and every swear word known to man floated free.

"YOU IDIOT! I'M SO DEPRESSED NOW! I'M GOING SHOPPING TO BOTTLE THINGS UP INSIDE!"

"Hope you get a tumor!" Tim pipped. The Witch left and climbed into her polar bear driven carriage. Tim rushed outside. "Oi Witch Doctor!"

The White Witch looked at him. "What?"

"YOU'RE A FUCKING BITCH! Cool I can swear! FUCKING AWESOME!"

The Witch left, stuffing her face with Turkish Delight.

-

Tron woke up in agony once again. The ship had crashed into some wooden crap. "Shit, what happened? I…waitaminute! I said shit? I CAN SWEAR!"

"Yeah it's a shock to me mate as well," said a cockney voice from somewhere. "YOU FUCKING CRASHED INTO MY HOUSE AND KILLED MY WIFE!"

Tron looked down and saw a small beaver giving him the finger. "HOLY CRAP I'M STONED!" Tron cried. "Zertonix!"

Zertonix popped his head out from under a pile of wood. "Yo!"

"Were the mushrooms on the pizza for real?"

"Let Taylor answer that! YO TAYLOR!"

Taylor fell out of a tree. "What?"

"Where the mushrooms on the pizza magic or real?" Zertonix asked loudly.

"Real!" Taylor shouted back.

"He said real!" Zertonix shouted to Tron.

"Ok beaver, what do you want?" Tron asked.

The beaver stared at Tron with interest. "'ang on a tick!" The beaver rushed to picture lying around. It looked at it, then at Tron, Zertonix and Taylor.

"Blinking Nora! You're them blokes from the prophecy!"

"What prophecy?" Tron asked.

"The prophecy in which: a large metal thingy will crash into a beaver's house! The three legends are a key sword wielding man, a boy who wasn't meant to exist, and a zombie thing! They will team up with Aslan and kill the White Witch! Freeing Narnia forever!"

He failed to notice the trio walking away. "Hey! You have to help us!" the beaver cried.

"No we don't!" Taylor replied curtly.

"We just wanna find someone to fix our ship!" Zertonix added.

"I bet Aslan can help!" the beaver cexclaimed.

Tron thought. "Alright, we'll tag along…but as long as there are no epic battles!"

Oh poor Tron, if only you knew.

-

Tim was reading the latest issue of 'Who Gives a Hoot' magazine when the White Witch arrived from her shopping trip.

"Finished moping yet?" he asked.

The Witch sniffed. "Yes…I bought a scented candle."

"Ooh! What scent?"

"Cherry blossoms."

"EEUGH! Are we ready to attack Aslan's army yet?"

"Yep, but he's with three strangers."

"Aw cruddentials! Tron and the rest of the Mystery Gang! Including Scooby-Doo!"

"What are you talking about Tim?"

"…never mind, TO WAR!"

-

Tron, Zertonix, and Taylor reached Aslan's camp in no time. They walked at first, but as soon as the snow started melting Tron whipped out his light cycle bar! Everyone piled in and drove to freedom…except Mr. Beaver…he had to walk…stupid monkey.

The camp was filled with mythical beasts and doohickeys…such as…winged monkeys. A very large centaur glared at Zertonix.

"Oh! You wanna go? Huh horse boy?" Zertonix shouted, rearing for a fight.

The centaur stood on its hind legs. Zertonix looked at it, scared and whimpering.

"Aw sh…"

SMASH!

Tron and Taylor didn't noticed Zertonix whizzing past them and crashing into a cliff.

A very large lion approached them, as well as a panting Mr. Beaver.

"You must be the ones from the prophecy. I'm Aslan, true king of Narnia" boomed the lion.

"I'm Tron! Exalted Lord of the Space Paranoids! This is Zertonix, Ravager of Chickens!"

"Yo"

"I'm Taylor Thoughtless, a nasty warrior who you don't wanna meet in a dark ally!"

"You people are mocking me" Aslan said bluntly.

"Jeez, you're slower than a slug on toast!" Tron moaned

"What?" Taylor asked, confused.

"I don't know myself!"

Suddenly a winged monkey approached Aslan. "Me lord! The White Witches army approaches. It seems to consist of pale creatures!"

"Thoughtless?" Tron said. "That means Tim is here!"

"TO WAR!" Aslan roared.

-

"Why do you drag me to these wars?" Tim moaned to the White Witch.

"So you can see me win!" she replied.

"Aw, just let me kill Tron so I can go home."

"Someone's a grumpy chops!"

"CAN IT LADY!"

"Ooh! Aslan's army approaches. Now get out and make me proud."

She kicked Tim out of her polar bear driven carriage. He unsheathed his masamune and screamed "CHARGE!"

Tron peered down the hill. He saw Tim running towards them. He summoned his keyblade. "Zertonix, you take a squadron and attack from the east. Taylor, your crew will fight from the west. Aslan and I will lead the main attack."

Everyone did so. Tron ran towards Tim.

-

Tim sliced a charging centaur into two. He followed that by stabbing an elf. He then saw Tron in front of him. "Took you a while."

"Yeah, Thoughtless kinda slow you down" Tron replied, cleaving a Thoughtless down the middle.

"Quite," Tim said. "Wanna fight?"

"Gotcha!"

Tron slammed the keyblade into Tim's sword. Tim pushed back and swiped for Tron's feet! Tron kicked Tim in the stomach and jabbed him with the keyblade. Tim locked swords with Tron.

"Smother me in gravy you big dirty man!" Tim laughed.

"Dude! That's sick!" Tron groaned.

"Relax, it's a quote. I got it from Cloud's Dream 2 on the youtube website!"

"Oh…that's okay, I guess. Hey, do you know anything about sudden swearing?"

"I broke the Swearing thing. We can swear, cool huh? Still, I'm gonna kill ya!" Tim swiped his sword, Tron jumped back, Tim threw the sword. Tron grabbed it and threw it right back!"

Tim was about to grab it when…Aslan rammed into him, causing poor Tim to fly off into the distance!

"Team Thoughtless is blasting off again!" he cried as he flew further away, and he then opened up a shadow portal. Several hundred Thoughtless did the same.

"NO!" The White Witch cried. Her army was depleting and she couldn't help but notice a pouncing Aslan.

-

So in the end, Narnia was free…I guess. "Glad we could help" Tron said.

"I took the liberty of fixing your ship, knowledge helps you know!"

"Thanks," Zertonix laughed. "Lets go, I'm tired!"

Suddenly, he bumped into a boy with a keyblade, a human with a nobody emblem on him, and a Thoughtless. "Yo," said the boy. "We're here to fulfill the prophecy."

"But if you're the true prophecy people," Aslan queried. "Then who are they?" Aslan then noticed Tron, Zertonix, and Taylor legging it to the Highwind Alpha.

-

Later Tronnit, Ghost, and Shades arrived in Narnia. They noticed dead Thoughtless everywhere. "Bad news DM," Shades said via communicator, he's left. We'll get him in the next world."


	13. The Goofy Strikes Back!

**A/N: **I guess it's been a while, huh FanFic? Anyhoo, I keep forgetting to add this. The following characters belong to…**DM: XDarkmasterX, Echie: Bexran, PK: Potatokillerx, Darkfire: Darkfirex, Flamer: Nixsend, Ghost: Ox Boy Jr. 53Z. **I don't own DESNEY OR SQUARE ENIX!

Chapter 13: The Goof Strikes Back

"C'mon DM! I reser…resor…brought you guys back from the dead. SO I SHOULD BE IN THE DARK CRUSADE!" Chiller, Flamer's younger brother, whined.

"No, you shouldn't!" DM snapped back. "Joker brought us back last time and we still treat him like shit!" DM pointed at the cowering furry in the corner.

"But you let that Ghost noob in!"

Ghost looked at Chiller. "Um Chiller" Ghost said calmly. Chiller glanced at Ghost. Ghost mouthed 'I will kill you' to the juvenile.

"Anyway," Echie said. "Tronnit and Shades shall be arriving with a Thoughtless doomsday device!"

"What!" Flamer exclaimed. "When did this happen?"

"We discussed the doomsday thing ten minutes ago!" Ghost shouted.

"Yeah, once Tim eventually gets mad enough to make a Thoughtless world as a base, we'll warp there and blow them up!" DM explained.

"How do you he is eventually gonna do that, DM?" Flamer asked.

"...uh, LOOK A DISTRACTION!"

--

"Tron, I don't think you're taking this hero business seriously" Zertonix sighed.

"Huh? Who are you? My writer?" Tron snapped.

"SEE! You used to be a stuffy old logical program! Now you're dude without a job goofing off!"

"Well Zertonix, I think that being with users has let me feel your emotions and gain a personality."

"Really?" Zertonix asked. Tron nodded. "I need to use the crapper, this is so touching."

Taylor entered the room, singing happily. "Angels sang out, in an immaculate chorus. Down from the heavens, descended Chuck Norris!"

"WHATCHOO TALKING ABOUT WILLIS?" Tron screamed out.

"Singing, you dingleberry! Hey, was that true what you said to Zertonix?"

"HELL NO! Well…I guess I…actually do! Yeah, I think I am gaining emotions and stuff! I think…I'm turning human!"

Taylor looked at Tron oddly. There was a long pause. Finally Taylor said "meep!"

Zertonix came out of the bathroom with a piece of toilet paper stuck on his shoe. "What did I miss?"

"Tron thinks he's turning…." But before Taylor could finish, Tron elbowed him in the balls.

"Tron's turning what?" Zertonix asked.

"I'm turning….to DRUGS!" Tron exclaimed.

"Ok…just don't do coke. I…"

"NO COKE! PEPSI!" Taylor interrupted. Zertonix punched him in the nuts.

"Don't do cocaine; I don't want you turning out like Nicolas Cage in Lord of War."

"Oh yeah," Tron sighed. "…I hate that film"

"Hey look! A new planet!" Taylor yelped.

"Cool! Let's go there!" Zertonix screamed.

"That's what Brian Boitano would do!"

--

Tim entered the world that Tron and co. had their eyes on. He gave a look around. It was a simple suburban town, nothing special. "Hmm…first I'll find a bad guy and help him! That's what Brian Boitano would do!"

Suddenly something hit him the back of the head! "Ow! WHAT THE DUECE?"

Tim swiftly spun around and growled at the throwers of the rock. It was a bunch of kids.

"Yo, you knew here? Are you the foreign exchange student?" A kid asked. Tim couldn't help but notice that the kids looked like animals

"Qué pasa?" Tim asked.

"C'mon then, I'll help you around school!" a kid said. He grabbed Tim by the arm and pulled him into school.

"NOOO! I'M TOO DEADLY FOR SCHOOL!"

"Wonder what he's saying" a kid said.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU ALL!" Tim screamed.

--

Tron, Zertonix and Taylor bailed out of the Highwind. "Well this town is boring" Tron sighed.

"Yeah, but this could liven up," Taylor said. "Tim is here and I can always karaoke!"

Zertonix punched him in the balls. Taylor staggered away.

"What now?" Tron asked.

"Dunno…what would Brian Boitano do?"

"Yeah!" Tron cried. "What would Brian Boitano do?"

There was a pause of awkwardness.

"Guys," Taylor interrupted. "We should go!"

"Oh yeah! Tim is still out!" Tron said. They were about then…

"HIYA TRAWN!"

Tron and the others looked around, there was Goofy. "Christ! Goofy what are you doing here?"

"Well gawsh Trawn. I live here! With my son Max!"

Zertonix looked at Goofy with a bizarre look. "How could someone like you get laid?" Goofy looked at him with a equally bizarre look. Then Goofy saw Taylor!

"Look out Trawn! A Thoughtless!" Goofy suddenly pulled out a shield and smashed it across Taylor's head.

"ARGH! SON OF A BITCH! OH, YOU ARE SO DEAD FREAK!" Taylor pulled out his guns and aimed at Goofy. Zertonix quickly punched Taylor in the balls.

"WHY IS EVERYONE DOING THIS TO ME?" Taylor screamed.

"So Goofy," Tron said. "Have you seen any suspicious activities?"

"Well, I did see some supposed 'foreign exchange student' entering the school!"

"And you did jack shit huh?" Zertonix sighed.

"I didn't want to embarrass Max!"

"We must save the day!" Taylor screamed.

"To the school!" Zertonix declared.

Taylor rushed ahead. "LLLLEEEEEEERRRROOOOOYYYYY JJJJJJJJEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKIIIIINNSSS!"

--

(Now for something completely different)

Tim ran through the school's hallways swinging his masamune. "Fricking Columbine baby!"

Everyone locked themselves in the nearest class room. Meanwhile, a boy named Max (an utter dork) and his friend PJ (son of the fat man Pete) cowered in fear.

"Man! That FES is a whack job!" Max shouted.

"I know man! He must be from Cuba!"

"Racist son of a bitch, he's obviously Japanese cos he has a katana."

Meanwhile Tim was riding through the hallways on an ATV screaming, "THIS IS MY UNITED STATES OF WHATEVER!"

"That's it; he's breaking the eleventh commandment!" Max screamed.

"Which is?" PJ asked.

"Thou shall not bastardize the American language! I'm gonna take him on!"

Max opened the door and Tim halted and turned around. "Whaddyo want kid?" Tim asked.

"I'm gonna kick your ass! Its what Brian Boitano would want" Max said calmly.

Tim sighed. "Guess what, I'm an invincible killing machine that absorbs imagination to live…AND I SAVED MONEY BY SWITCHING TO GEICO!"

Tim drove towards Max, masamune drawn out. Max was going to be PWN3ED when a circular shield slammed into the back of his head!

"Max, get outta here!" Goofy screamed. Max obeyed. Tron, Zertonix, and Taylor jumped out with their weapons handy.

"Tim, if you're invincible. WHY DO YOU KEEP RUNNING FROM US?" Tron yelled.

"Because…" Tim paused. "…YOUR MUM!"

"I'm a fucking program! I don't have mum."

Tim opened his mouth and pointed to Zertonix, before he could say anything, Zertonix said…

"I'm a Nobody offspring, my parents are gone."

"You made me" Taylor added.

"Fuck it! You guys can shmeh yourselves! And before I go…" Tim ran up and punched Taylor in the balls! Then he opened up a portal and ran in. Tron and his two friends followed…into the unknown.

Max looked at Goofy. "…shit."

--

Shades and Tronnit arrived back with the doomsday. "DM we got it!" Shades called.

"Sweet!" DM giggled. He looked at Tronnit. "What happened to your lances?"

"I traded them in for this baby!" Tronnit pulled out a pair of red gloves covered in metal. "Cool huh, they boost my wind powers 'and' (notice me emphasizing on the and) allow me to control metal!"

"Nice" PK said.

Ghost arrived. "Sir, Tim is on the move. Its seems he's made a Thoughtless world."

Flamer's mouth dropped. Chiller popped up. "CAN I COME?"

"Tronnit, take care of Chiller with you're new item."

Tronnit took out a ball of metal. Using the gloves, he shaped it into a flurry of shurikens. Chiller never saw what was coming.

**Next Chapter: THE END IS NIGH OF THIS STORY!**


	14. Never Again, Not with Tron

**Author's Note: **Well, isn't this a surprise. I actually finished this story. Fuckabilly Rex! I almost had thoughts of giving up on this, but I sat down and wrote it! In your face America! UK! UK! UK! Also my mum made me watch a movie called The History Boys. It sucks and this is my escape from it.

Chapter 14: Note to Self: Never do another Kingdom Hearts Story featuring Tron

DM stared at the dark moon sky from the balcony. Tronnit walked through the door behind him.

"DM, we have just learnt that Tim HAS created a Thoughtless world. Looks like you were right."

"Tronnit, I no longer wish to be called DM. I want to be called by my true name, Cyrus." DM…Cyrus closed his eyes. Tronnit smirked a little and chuckled.

"Cyrus? No problem. Well what shall we do about Tim?"

"Take the dooms day device and blow…the mother fucking…shit out of him." Tronnit gave a little GIR salute.

"YES M'LORD!"

--

Tron, Zertonix, and Taylor fell out of the vortex. They would've given out a gasp, but they couldn't make a sound. They had landed on a purple earthed planet, filled with grey trees and motionless thoughtless.

"Holy moly! It's like a Thoughtless world!" Tron cried.

"Mainly because it is!" said a familiar voice from behind.

The three heroes spun around as fast as possible. Tim was standing behind them, wearing some kind of gleaming amour and a huge sword.

"Welcome to my little slice of heaven! I like to call it…" he snapped his fingers, a thoughtless gave him a piece of paper. "Thoughtless Place…is that the best you people can come up with? What am I paying you lot?"

The thoughtless groaned.

Tim pulled a puzzled look. "Nothing? Well…I'm deducting a dollar off your paycheck! So you get negative 1 dollar! That means you have to pay me 1 dollar!" Tim chuckled to himself. He looked at Tron, Zertonix, and Taylor. "What the fuck are you queer-o-sexuals looking at? Better not be my crotch!"

"We're here to stop you…" Zertonix said slowly.

"Stop me doing what?"

"Destroying worlds?" Tron replied.

"Nope, doesn't ring a bell."

"You've been trying to do it for the past couple of days" Taylor said.

"…who are you guys?"

"Goddamn it!" Tron yelled. He pulled out his keyblade. "Am I gonna have to beat you straight?"

"Ah, now I remember you faggots! Yeah, we're gonna have to do a big battle royal!"

"Now you're talking!" Zertonix laughed, smiling.

"I believe you gents are familiar with the rules of…Gears of War!!!" Tim pulled out Xbox 360 controllers. There was an anti-climatic feeling in the air.

"Oh you are fucking kidding me!"

--

The Dark Crusade members were sitting in a large, jet shaped gummi ship. Tronnit was fiddling with his new gloves and singing GWAR songs. Flamer was playing Fire Emblem. Darkfire and PK were deciding if the Gummi Ship building was easier in Kingdom Hearts 1 or 2. Ghost was sleeping on the couch. Cyrus was watching Godzilla movies. Echie was piloting the ship, Shades was being a conformist as usual.

"So did we really have to kill Chiller?" Flamer asked.

"There was no other option." Echie replied quickly.

"Yeah, there were! We could've…"

"THERE WAS NO OTHER OPTION!"

"I'm sure Cyrus will resurrect him later" Ghost mumbled, stirring from his sleep.

"Yeah. 'Resurrect him'." Cyrus laughed.

"So we just land and end Tim and the thoughtless' existence?" PK asked.

"Yeah, we kind mentioned it several times already" Tronnit sighed.

"Speaking of which, where is the doomsday thing?" Darkfire asked.

"Tied to a rope, trailing behind us" Cyrus sighed.

"Is that safe?" Ghost asked.

"I don't give a fuck."

"Cyrus, we're approaching a purpled planet. Looks like Thoughtless inhabit it!"

"COME JOIN THE WAR PARTY! COME SEE EXOTIC LANDS!" Tronnit screamed.

"SHUT UP TRONNIT!" Flamer screamed back, in the same tune as War Party by GWAR.

--

"We shall be playing Execution on Gridlock. Default weapons!" Tim announced.

"We get to be COG," Zertonix quipped. "Dibs on Carmine!"

"Can't we just fight? I mean you're wearing amour!" Tron asked.

"It's ceremonial, computer boy!" Tim snapped.

Tron, in frustration, pulled out the keyblade and smashed the Xbox 360. The then thrusted it at Tim's neck! Tim jumped out of the way and grabbed his sword.

"Damn it! I should've gotten the extended warranty!" Tim grumbled. Zertonix took his sword and Taylor got his guns.

"It's gonna end here Tim!" Tron shouted. "Too many have been hurt because of you!"

"Wait…about 3?"

"Ok dude, I don't keep tracks of these things!"

Tim laughed to himself. "You know what; let's make this seem fairer. I mean 3 vs. 1? Pfft! Yeah right!" Tim fired a Blizzaga spell at Taylor and Zertonix, they froze on the spot!

"So you want a showdown?" Tron asked.

"We're gonna finish what we started in Narnia!" Tim laughed manically.

--

The Dark Crusade landed their vessel on Thoughtless Place. All members climbed out of the ship. Echie carried the doomsday device.

"And now.." Cyrus said. "I shall prime this device to explode, with the help of my lovely assistant Echie!"

"Fuck you"

"Ok, without him!" Cyrus grabbed the device and set it on the floor. He hit a bunch of buttons in no particular order. A timer showed up, saying 5 minutes until detonation.

"Guys!" Ghost yelled. "We found a smashed Xbox 360!"

"And Tron and Tim are fighting!" Flamer cried. True enough Tron and Tim were engaged in a battle for the universe. The keyblade and sword were clanging together! Parries and swipes were traded! Eventually, Tron and Tim locked swords.

"You can't win Tron! I was created invincible!" He laughed crazily. He then broke the lock and ran Tron through straight in the heart. The frozen Zertonix and Taylor moved a little.

Tim kicked Tron across the floor. He then turned to the Dark Crusade. "You guys think that the bomb will kill me? I'M FUCKING INVINCIBLE!!!"

"The punk has a point," Tronnit groaned. "It'll destroy everyone else but not him!"

"You have to turn it off!" Flamer squealed to Cyrus.

"I dunno how!"

"Aw, FUCKABILLY REX!!" Tronnit screamed.

"You fools!" Tim laughed. "While you're panicking, the bomb is ticking away and I'm getting closer to killing you once more!" Several Thoughtless surrounded the Dark Crusade. The ice spell encasing Zertonix and Taylor wore off. They saw Tron lying on the ground. They tried to get to him, but more Thoughtless grabbed them. Tron could hear Tim's laugh.

"I tried Sora, Henri, Natily…everyone else…" Tron thought to himself. "I just wasn't strong enough." A tear rolled down his cheek. It continued all the way down to his chest, to where is heart is.

Suddenly, a bright light shined. A heart shaped emblem appeared underneath Tim.

"What the hell is this?!" Tim screamed.

"I recognized it," Cyrus muttered under his breath. "Kingdom Hearts…"

And from that heart emblem, beams of light shot straight into Tim! His body was slowly breaking down into nothing!

"NO! I'M…I'M INVINCIBLE!!! I CAN'T…." Before he could finish, he vanished into the void.

"Tron, I don't know what you did but it worked!" Zertonix said, grinning from cheek to cheek.

"Thanks…I'm not going to make it, so it seems." Tron started crying like never before.

"Don't worry Tron," Taylor cried. "The DC have a ship, we can get you to safety!"

But without warning, the light that destroyed Tim started moving. It consumed many Thoughtless, and the doomsday device had 20 seconds left.

"Shit!" Shades screamed. "Let's get the hell out of here!"

"Good idea" Darkfire replied. Everyone climbed aboard the ship, but the trio of heroes.

"You guys ain't coming?" Tronnit asked.

"We leave no man behind" Taylor replied.

The DC ship flew off, away from the planet as far as possible. Tron, Zertonix, and Taylor waited, as the counter reached zero; Kingdom Heart's light reached them.

--

Henri and Natily were sitting on the beach. Henri was fiddling with his guitar, playing Stellar by Incubus. It was night, the breeze was cool, and the sound of the waves crashing against the shoreline was relaxing. 3 flaming lights flew across the sky.

"Shooting stars!" Natily said, excitedly. "Make a wish!" Henri closed his eyes.

"Done!" he said, satisfied.

"Wait…they're coming towards the islands!"

As Natily just said, the stars crashed into the shoreline! Both Natily and Henri jumped to their feet! They approached the smoldering craters carefully. Suddenly, three shadowy figures became visible through the smoke. Henri brandished the guitar as a bat. Then he dropped it…they both gasped.

Tron, Zertonix and Taylor stepped out of the smoke.

Tron smiled. "What did I miss?"

CHECK THIS OUT - …END!!!!

**No soup or sequel for you! Argue and you get to talk to Chuck Norris about it!**


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